Eve-ntually...

2007-04-24T14:10:00.000+03:00

Do you want to know what a decent, nice fellow's nature truly is (away from all the sweet talk he gives you in daily life)?
Accidently overhear a discussion, you weren't supposed to hear, between him and another male friend about "marking points" and "scoring" with women.

totally repulsive....

2007-04-23T15:17:00.000+03:00

There was a big storm this morning. A door slammed and I woke up, startled. For a moment there, and although not totally awake yet, I was convinced that a new bomb detonated in the neighborhood. The truth is I felt on the verge of hysterical crying, for I just couldn’t take another bombing in the country! (Between you and me, I’ve recently decided that Lebanese people are a lost case khalas & I don’t feel at home here ba2a). A little by little, the details of last night’s dream started to come back to me. There was indeed another bombing in my head, and in my dream, last night, I did weep hysterically.

2007-04-21T10:55:00.000+03:00

Rima think i do not look happy anymore. I wonder where did she get this idea from.

2007-04-20T23:45:00.000+03:00

I still sneak out to eat Vitamine C / Cal-C-vita as candies. I hope I'm not a lost case!

2007-04-19T23:12:00.000+03:00

Symptom Checklist:

Weight gain (check)
Abdominal bloating (think so, don't care anyway)
Stress or anxiety (check and check)
Depression (oh sooo check!)
Crying spells (check and double check)
Mood swings, irritability or anger (CHECK!)
Appetite changes and food cravings (totally!!)
Trouble falling asleep (hmmm, no fine im ok there)
Headache (check)
Fatigue (check)
Trouble concentrating (check)
Social withdrawal (check)
Body temperature increase (maybe, shu 3arrafneh)

AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I hate that time!! recommendation: stay away, ill probably make a mashkal wiz you.

and to "you": fine, stay away too whatever.

2007-04-18T20:02:00.000+03:00

Virginia. et La misere.
all the while, they die again and again in Iraq.
who cares.

Don't answer that.

2007-04-18T15:57:00.000+03:00

I
really
miss you
Baba...

Last Night's Dreams

2007-02-06T00:21:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I dreamt another explosion hit Beirut, and the victim this time was no other than… Tony Baroud. Now why on earth would I dream about Tony Baroud? I don’t even like the guy! And in the dream, his giraffe wife was standing before an ambulance, saying (bi ghandara): "Yi, thank God my husband jawzi habibi encouraged me to learn about first aids, yaaay, btetkhayalo!"

I kept thinking what, during the day before, triggered dreaming about Mr. Baroud. Hmmm, could it be the baroud itself? Then, I remembered I had been looking at a magazine with Carole Samaha on the cover, after which I said to my friend: "she's so pretty, can you believe she's 44?" (btw is she really 44?). Back in my mind, I was thinking: "tab why is she still single? Inno look at her! Jamel w meil w zaka w smalla 3leiha w 7waleiha", "is it because this dumb stupid person yalleh esmo baroud afandi broke her heart?" Mind you, I was this huge fan of Carole and I always hated what that sob did to her! (showing solidarity mish aktar :) ) But I didn’t know I hated the guy so much I had to kill him in my dream! That's some solidarity! Tab had I spoken to my friend about the plain thought that crossed my mind, would my subconscious mind still felt the urge of liberating this suppressed urge in a dream??

I also had tons of other weird dreams during that same night: there's this scene where I was eating a cake, prepared by my uncle's wife. It tasted like poison actually, and I was going on eating & feeling nauseated; meanwhile, watching my mom on TV: it seems she was a famous movie actress. Ba3d fi! Khabissa l 3adeh! Bass anyway, I forgot, w I want to go sleep anyway.. yalla later.

Sunbathing

2007-01-24T20:30:00.000+02:00

* picture taken in Baalbeck, September 2006. click to enlarge.

Overdose

2007-01-23T14:14:00.000+02:00

I've watched "Pride & Prejudice" about five times during the past couple of days. I just turned off all local & news channels and runned the movie non-stop. And I can tell you this, if this Mr. Darcy doesn't show up right here, right now, on whatever kind of horses he chooses, even ja7esh iza baddo, I will die of a romance overdose. *sigh*

oh and who cares what's happening outside my office. just leave me alone.

Sick, sick, sick

2006-12-08T16:18:00.000+02:00

So, has it become a competition now on who is more Lebanese than the other?

fine, fine, you are the most perfect political body to be entrusted with the Lebanese nationality, and anyone who dares to disagree with you is just another nation traitor, American worshipper, Israeli agent that emodies pure evil. happy now? Oh and I like the tone. peace-loving and very unity- promotion style. just like it was intended. and the timing? perfect! imagine if the speech was delivered on sunday! how else would we have reminded the sluggish ones to re-load some momentum?

Is it so wrong that some Lebanese may be just as Lebanese as you are? ok, ok, I'll hold till you get the answer back from "other" sources.

New Downtown

2006-12-06T15:13:00.000+02:00

min ghayyer leish ma min ghayyer shu bou el teghyeer na3am sa noughayyer w shu eshbo shu eshbo el teghyeer ya3eesh el teghyeer yeslamleh rab el teghyeeer ana wal taghyeer wa hawak ma te7keh ma3eh mish sheyefneh 3am ghayyer ya 3ammeh ya heik teghyeer ya bala... shu baddak...

Viva la Revolutiona!

P.S. picture source unknown. landed in my inbox.

Tous les Coups sont Permis

2006-11-17T21:40:00.000+02:00

"Non, pas sur la bouche
Je sais, je touche
Le fond du lac
Le temps des cerises est mort
Le diable est dans le corps
Non, pas sur les lèvres
Non c'est pas mièvre
C'est pas le trac

Rien ne dure...
Au dessus de la ceinture"

(La Ceinture- Elodie Frege)

2006-11-01T15:29:00.000+02:00

- OMG, she’s here!
- I can’t believe my eyes!
- Are you seeing what I’m seeing?
- She’s not dead in an earthquake.
- She wasn’t sucked in a Katrina hurricane.
- She didn’t get married and have her fifth child.

What can I say? It’s always amusing to go back to my dance classes and be greeted after few months of absence! Well, I did manage to mutilate myself already (dry blood under my toe skin, scratches on my arm and forehead, broken nails, inability to walk etc…) but nothing like it to forget all about the outside world.

w khalasna ba2a.

Fallait Pas!!

2006-10-29T11:43:00.000+02:00

Je
fais
rien
que
des
bêtises,
des bêtises
quand mes yeux pleurent

2006-10-03T11:29:00.000+03:00

The funniest thing at the office is how boss and colleagues all start to discuss my love life in front of me, as if I'm not there, and then decide whether they should send me to Iraq to marry a terrorist or keep me with them in Lebanon.

- khalas? you're finished deciding my future? tab can I at least have a say in all this?

- shhh... go back to work!

Final Destination

2006-09-29T16:26:00.000+03:00

For all those who are familiar with the Final Destination series (well, I wasn't), I got to watch part three yesterday. The impact of it on me in two words? let's just say I'm freaked out since then. All this blood and talk about signs and death and how it is triggered, and turning the whole thing into a philosophical matter about how you cannot escape what it is written and blah blah blah... well, I'm not the right person to handle it. Yes, I realize it's just a movie, but every damn object on the road, every car, person and darrab el sokhn started to look suspicious. w kamein, I'm not going into an amusement park again in my life. w huh! yeah, you heard me (people who have heard me nag about going there since months ago)

Ramadan started to show its effects on me. been sick since this morning. maybe it's the whole food diet change w tokhbees el akel :(

yalla, supposed to get ready for an iftar with friends. you see, it's a bit difficult when the smell of cooking in the nearby kitchen gives you the nausea.

Yemen

2006-09-28T14:54:00.000+03:00

ok, so I didn't get to go to Yemen after all, but at least I got to see the pictures!

dagger fight shows

don't you just want to be there?

oh and Saleh afandi won, no surprise about that..

Familia

2006-09-28T13:43:00.000+03:00

A couple of days ago, while sitting in a café, I noticed that the woman at the table in front of me was my cousin, from my father’s side - (as in bint 3amti), whom I haven’t seen since more than ten years ago. Of course she didn’t recognize me because I was just a kid back then, but she, on the other hand, was easily spotted: beside the five-time-bigger minor detail, she almost never changed. Oh that was mean of me… make it seven times bigger.

Yesterday, while doing some window shopping, another cousin of mine, from my mother’s side this time (as in ibn khali) nearly touched shoulders with me, tellement on etait proche! And still la 7ayat li man tounadi… I followed him afterwards a la Sherlock Holmes, and watched how my little shy cute cousin met with his girlfriend at the end of the mall’s passageway. Cute! Hal fas3oun!

Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say, in a way, is that... I do miss those big family gatherings, especially in Ramadan…

and kamein, in a way, I do envy those people with the 10 uncles and 15 aunts, and dozens of cousins, w sitto w jiddo w 3ammo w 3amto w ilakh ilakh...

Bon, end of break. see you when i'm in the mood for blogging.

Boy? Girl?

2006-09-13T11:55:00.000+03:00

It's hectic at work today: last minute preparations, last minute translations, last minute Tchador shopping etc...

The main question among us translators though was (for grammatical purposes): Dakhlek, is Yemen a boy or a girl?

- sabeh, sabeh!
- lek kif sabeh.. it's a girl! bannouta!
- hmm, how to make sure if it's a boy or a girl?
- (...)
- you're giving that look... why are giving me that look
- are you actually aware how "mined" your question sounds?

haydi, hayda, haydi, hayda.. whatever. what sane person has this sort of a conversation in his daily life anyway...

A Treat

2006-09-12T15:58:00.000+03:00

So the previous weekend I indulged myself in a visit to the Movenpick Spa. worth every penny Im telling you! (regardless of the fact that you have to pay this huge sum to stay in an oven called sauna... among other things), but anyway, it was very relaxing (and the least thing to do since the vacation thing was not working at all, as you guys know). You actually reach a state of serenity with the oven heat. I think I even saw a naked man there, heik walking around. no, we're not talking the butt of a Brad Pitt, I mean a naked old man with a potbelly. thank God I wasn't wearing my glasses! Anyway, the showers there are so much fun! You just press a bunch of buttons, and you have flows of water coming either from the sides, or cold flashes on your head, or light gentle drizzles etc... ok, I sound like a baby who's having his first bath. But it's way better than those ads about the woman on a plane, washing her hair with Herbal Essence. (bof! Herbal Essence is such a "deceptive" shampoo btw). and we didn't even get to the hotstones massage part yet! to think they have asked me: "you prefer Joyce or George as your masseur?"! now that answer would have been interesting (in case I'm revealing it to you ya3neh)...

yalla, enough for today. zhe2et sarsara.

The high point of today: My Ashrafiyeh colleague walking in the room, in her Yemen tchador! Never thought something would crack me up hal add!

Meen?

2006-09-11T20:35:00.000+03:00

Can I at least know who called me today on my cell phone (international call), asked for my name in person, then strangely hung up on me?

Come on, I'm dead curious!

P.S. nice voice :)

Lost in Translation

2006-09-07T18:00:00.000+03:00

Hmm... been drowning in dictionaries for too long; spending quite some time with my friend google over here too.

Well that’s what you do when you have a mixed document bita3 kollo. Khabissa ya3neh.

I have to figure out what a certain weird meal called “tapenade” means in Arabic... invent a new word barki... W kamein the ultra-low-rise jeans. Inno ma3leih ya3neh. W ba3dein a bunch of eye diseases and treatments like: monovision, LASIK surgery, PRK, retinoids, endermologie, keratome, conductive keratoplasy… dawwa rasseh. W stuff related to fung-shui, then this margarine butter that’s supposed to be healthy, w new fall shoe trends, w a lot lot more, all grouped in one single document. La2 w shu, a private pilates session is supposed to cost between 150 and 750 SR. SR? SR?! inno isn’t this supposed to be in dollars? Are we talking Saudi Riyal all of a sudden now?

don't authors know translators clean after them? can't they be a little more considerate ya3neh?

Anyway, don’t mind the mood. Add to that inno I haven't eaten anything since last night, and that I’m supposed to wait till seven again tonight. oh yes, that's called fasting. not working for me at all this year.

yalla have to run. later.

My Tuesday

2006-09-05T15:00:00.000+03:00

Work field trip to Yemen!

And I'm not going! :(

Apparently tribes during elections are not the perfect place for a girl.

Ma3 inno nothing else seems more right for me in this particular period.

Inno bye bye Italy vacation, w so long to the Turkey escape, and now this. inno pfff.

Oh and I hate blogs, wish I never started with the whole thing aslan. but once you start, you just cannot stop. you're doomed to blog till the remaining days of your life. to post about you heartbreaks, your wedding day, your first baby, your jobs, the colleagues that you absolutely hate etc... an everlasting mission (for your sake before anyone else's). they should have written that in their manuals. bastards.

So, is it possible to force oneself to stop doing something by... say hypnosis mathalan?

w 3ada zelek, it's a black day in the Kingdom of the Sun, w mish tay2a 7adan. But I guess it already shows.

Have to wait till seven ce soir to eat something. not complaining. can handle it. w killo tamem. 4 hours to go. will be catching a movie kamein after this long break. heard the assassination series (not the movie, the real-life one) is back to Lebanon min awwal w jdid. but if they think that will stop me, qu'ils aillent se faire foutre.

yalla. a toute.

Eyeglasses

2006-09-03T01:08:00.000+03:00

I spent long minutes today searching for my eyeglasses. and all what I was thinking about was: "I wish I can ring them "a missed call" ".

well, maybe I did. but they were set to the silent mode.

blah.

That's What I Call Art

2006-08-30T16:08:00.000+03:00

How does your friend react when you tell him you're mad at him bil msn?

P.S. drawing time: 2 minutes! drawing tool: computer mouse! Isn't it something!

(Hatem: you never got back to me with you know what, but I do like this one :) )

Reflection

2006-08-29T14:58:00.000+03:00

Picture stolen shamelessly from a forwarded email I received today :) . click to enlarge.

The Magnifying Zero

2006-08-29T12:14:00.000+03:00

I’ve come to realize that the major difference between the Arab media in general and the Israeli one is a matter of interaction with the viewers. While one is resonant and high-sounding, the other is reserved and digested; while one is too informative, the other is somehow too secretive (plz note that we’re not talking freedom of speech here, rather reports of breaking news). So both media outlets, on extreme ends of the scale, need to find their balance. Let’s take this piece of news for example:

“Israel kills 50 civilians in the occupied territories”

The Israeli version of the story would be to underestimate the news, omit any footage of the massacre, reduce the number of victims by half, accuse the deceased of being terrorists, and proclaim its right to self-defense. The usual bullshit ya3neh.

The Palestinian version of the story (and this has actually happened a couple of years ago, or so I’ve heard) would be to add another zero to the 50, hence amounting the number of the victims to 500.

So the international community (UN people), which could have been appalled enough by the fifty victims, would rush to issue statements and resolutions to condemn the massacre of the so-called 500. When discovering what has exaclty happened (which of course it will in the end), the number 50, that would have startled it in the beginning, now looks insignificant in comparison with the 500. So, instead of the: “OMG, those poor fifty people!”, the reaction would be: “Oh thank God, they are only 50!”

Not that I’m saying that our media has exaggerated in running the news over the past month and a half. Isreal ma bit2asser and it will surely provide us with enough morbid news supply for years and years to come. The problem is we’re accumulative, and sometimes it turns into a “khabissa” of news, instead of a clear and defined message.

hinneh kteer m3atmeen, na7na mrakbeen neon bi 50 alf ampere.

Just Stay Home

2006-08-29T00:24:00.000+03:00

So the project of going to Italy for vacation was a complete failure (on July 12, I had already applied for my passport, and was on the verge of booking my ticket).
A month and some days later, the word vacation stopped meaning anything to me.
Oh, and may I say: what a "splendid" surprise it was when the Russian airplane crashed a week ago! (I knew I had reason to be scared when I flied on it last year!)
Today, my boss finally managed to convince me of traveling for few days…and he suggested… Turkey as a destination!
I had just started to dream about another escape when… well, you know shu sar.

"Tirkiya? eh rou7eh ndabbeh habibteh"

7adan baddo e7sedlo balad ya jame3a? yalla choose another destination, before I run out of my "good luck"! inno eft…

btw, this blog is going commentless for the time being. If you have any comment, plz send me an email, or go chez mysteriouseve. She's serious w self-restricted wma btinta2 these days. Eve-ntually just want to be alone and rant.

Fill in the Blank...

2006-08-28T12:35:00.000+03:00

and you'll get this standard sentence, always applicable in Lebanon:

"Oh don't you worry! you live near ..., you'll never get your electricity cut off"

(examples: French Embassy, Istiz Nabih Berry, the Phalangist Office, Kraytem etc...)

Inno shu khass?!

C'est Ecrit

2006-08-28T11:51:00.000+03:00

Car les violences contre le Liban retomberont sur toi (Habakuk, Ancient Testament)

For the violence of Lebanon shall cover thee (the Book of Habakuk)

Do I Know you?

2006-08-28T00:44:00.000+03:00

I realized I've been shutting out a whole year of my life. Not only it took me a few seconds, the other day, to remember the name of the first guy I've ever loved (well, love is too big a word for those feelings I had at 20), but there was this unusual incident a couple of days ago kamein: while I was zapping, I had to go back to Future TV, to that shrink who was talking about a certain issue chez les enfants. "Where have I seen this guy? He looks so familiar! Where ya eve where… wein ya 3ammeh eft… inno I'm sure I haven’t paid him a clinical visit some time ago" and then it hit me: I actually dated the guy for a short while, years ago! And even though there was nobody listening to my Eureka, boy did that sound so wrong!

Nataly, of course, replied to that with her usual: "allah yjarsek". But then we started remembering that "era", and all the names just flowed in. I felt strange. It was like remembering the past of another person. Someone, anyone, but definitely not me.

Nevertheless, I'm impressed: when I'm done with unwanted memories, I do have the ability to sending them to trash.

The Irony of it All

2006-08-19T13:30:00.000+03:00

The U.S. & Co. doesn't differentiate among Lebanese people, whether of Christian, Sunni, Shiite or other confessions, when the latter group checks in a foreign airport for example: Technically, we are all potential suspects of a Qaeda-related terrorist network.

The Israeli government and its IDF, in turn, don't make the same difference when leveling Lebanese villages and cities to the ground: Technically, we are all evil terrorists harboring guerillas in our living-rooms and under our beds.

They don't ask you for your religion when you're abroad. They say they have fallen in love with your Lebanese food, Lebanese hospitality, your "Ahla w Sahla" accent, Byblos and Tyre, Haifa and all the beauty of Lebanese women.

Funny enough, when it comes to differentiation and making judgments, we, Lebanese, seem like the only pros.

House of Broken Dreams

2006-08-16T22:49:00.000+03:00

It seems that the curse of demolished, old houses is haunting me again.

The Southern Suburb yesterday was more like a touristic place, with nearly one hundred cameras taking pictures of every little sign of destruction.
It felt odd that, just a couple of days ago, standing on the very ground where I was standing at that moment was a foolishly fatal act. The air was thick. In some places, fire hasn't been extinguished yet. A friend of mine lost her house there.

Heik, all of a sudden, some of us find themselves homeless, others are just guests with cameras.

Hell on Bint Jbeil

2006-08-14T19:49:00.000+03:00

This article, by Jihad Bazzi, sheds light on the sufferance the refugees have endured when trying to flee the bombarded cities and villages. What they have gone through is simply inhumane, and violating to every Human Right agreement on the planet. Sadly, it is nothing but the truth. Please take the time to read this translated story of Adel & Insaf, shared, I'm sure, by hundreds of other refugees.

The plane swoops down over the half-demolished house. It levels it to the ground. The gas bottles blow up; fire ravages it. There is no one inside this house in the Sakiyeh neighborhood of Bint Jbeil. Its five inhabitants have already evacuated it. They are four women and a crippled old man, called Mohammad Hussein Ahmad Bazzi, who now hides in the house next door, owned by Adel Bazzi. Adel had asked them to stay with him, as people take comfort in each others in times of war. Adel had carried the crippled man on his back, and made him feel at home since the first day of the aggression.

It's day 14 of the war. There are sixteen people in the house: Adel, his wife, his six children, his 85-year-old mother, his 79-year-old brother-in-law, Mohammad Rashed El-Hinawi, who had come to town for a visit before this war started, but couldn't leave afterwards. There are also their five neighbors, whose house the plane half-demolished yesterday, and which is being bombarded again today.

The ground shakes in Adel's house and everybody starts to scream. Adel takes a look out of the window and sees the warplane hovering about. It fires a missile at his house, destroying part of the first floor roof. Adel, on the ground floor, makes a snap decision for all those staying with him: We will leave the house. It all happens in a matter of seconds. He carries the youngest of his children, and throws him at the doorstep. The mother, too, carries a child and hurries outside. The other children rush out by themselves. Adel's sister, Alia, helps her mother make it to the entrance. As for his old brother-in-law, he goes out, leaning on his walking stick. Adel carries Hajj Mohammad on his back. Everybody starts running, some of them waving their white scarves above their heads. They have barely crossed for fifty meters when the warplane attacks Adel's house, turning it into ruins.

The Sakiya neighborhood is nothing but a pile of rubble. Adel makes sure he takes one last look at the building where he had planned to move before the war: those five stories he had built after 22 years of hard work, both in Lebanon and Dearborn, Michigan, in the United States, where he used to travel each year. Adel and his children hold a dual Lebanese-American citizenship, and it is for their sake that he has built this house in Bint Jbeil. He takes a look at the life he just had, but doesn’t see it. He just runs, runs with the old man on his back, and fifteen persons running behind them… Yet they have no idea where to go.

Bint Jbeil is not the Bint Jbeil they knew. It is nothing but scattered islands of endless ruins. People are gathered in groups inside the houses… and just wait. In another part of the town, Insaf, her mother Zeinab and her two nieces are sleeping at the home of another relative. Fifty people are hiding under that roof. When someone from the South speaks of a home, he usually means a small two-story house. The father of the family always builds one for his children. And ever since the liberation of the South, Bint Jbeil had been an ongoing workshop. No, those houses, villas and castles do not grow as mushrooms, rather like ancient dreams which emigrants and locals have always had; dreams that make this town more beautiful and prosperous.

The number of houses is increasing… those beautiful houses with red bricks on the top. Suddenly, Insaf finds herself evacuating her home, along with her diabetic mother and her two nieces, who had come to spend the summer. She runs away; the house next door has collapsed on their neighbors, killing them all at once. Her neighbor himself paid them a visit half an hour ago. He told her he was going to get his family, so that they can all stay together.

Insaf has run to another neighborhood. She has no idea what became of her house. She is surrounded by fifty people, some praying and imploring God, others are just terrified children.

Imagination can go on and on when it comes to describing the situation, but no words can really describe the cruelty of the waiting. No words can describe how those fifty people left their house, holding the white fabric up high and planning to reach Tebnine on foot… Nothing can really tell how the planes then bombarded the surrounding buildings, dispersing the small crowd and causing everyone to cry hysterically. They had no choice but to gather up again, and go those few meters back, to that same room where they had been; to go back to the waiting and the screaming at each shake of the house, and each time the nearby rocks of the destroyed houses nearly blow their room away. There are no words to describe how these days pass by: crying and reading the Koran. Above their heads, there is a half destroyed roof; above the roof, a warplane; and above the warplane, a God that sees them, with no one else for them to look at, no one else for Him to look into.

Adel and his family run for forty meters. They see a house with an open door, so they make their way in. Adel says they will hide there for a while. The roar of the raids becomes louder; the house is shaking with them inside. The warplane is chasing them from a place to another. Adel runs again. On his back, he is still carrying crippled Hajj Mohammad. Around him are still his brother-in-law, wife, children, mother, sister and neighbors. But where to this time? To the nearest house they can possibly find. The house they have just fled is now destroyed. Death is hunting them down, and images are swarming in Adel's head: the image of their limbs stuck on the walls. But the plane disappears. In the dark, the group sleeps on the floor of the third house for that day.

Tomorrow is another day… Tomorrow is day 15 of this war.

The night is gone. At dawn, Adel Bazzi gets up and decides to head to the residence of Sayyed Ali Hakim, the Imam of Bint Jbeil. Adel knows that there is a basement there. He carries the crippled neighbor on his back, and tells his brother-in-law to follow. The group reaches the place, while warplanes are roaring in the sky. They make their way through the open door and seek shelter in the old basement. In the dark, they hear the voice of the Imam, praying, while people are repeating after him. Their number has reached forty. There is a biscuit packet that is yet to be divided, as daily crumbs, among four children. One of the men has been sneaking out in the last few days, crawling to the water tank, a few meters away, to fetch some water. But the raids will get stronger and stronger; and those seeking shelter in the basement will soon know they are very close to Maroon El-Ras, under the direct threat of the Israelis.

Sayyed Hakim asks everyone to stay here, and they all obey. From now on, there shall be nothing to feed them, not a drop to drink, not a ray of light to see. Because water is unavailable, they wash with clean sand, and pray in the place where they sit. It is in this same place that they sleep and wake up. For five days, not a single soul dares leave his spot, lest they trample the person lying nearby. The voice of the praying Imam is getting louder and louder, and they all repeat his words after him. When the voice of the Imam becomes hoarse; it is Abdel Karim, Adel's son, who raises his voice and continues, with everyone repeating the prayer after the fifteen-year-old boy. At night, Adel's four-year-old son moans. He tells his mom he's hungry. She cries. It's been five days, and nothing has changed. When the warplanes attack the Imam's house, demolishing it just above the basement roof, they feel that death is sticking to their skin. They just close their eyes and wait for it to grab their souls. But the arched roof of the old basement holds out. It doesn’t fall. Sayyed Hakim tells them that the roof doesn't protect them. He says that God is their Protector, and they believe him. They have no other choice.

Before we forget: Adel's group which had left the last house consisted of 16 persons. But only 15 of them made it. Adel's brother-in-law was lost along the way. This stranger, who was unfamiliar with the alleys of Bint Jbeil, didn't even make it to the house of the honorable Sheikh… Nobody knows what ever happened to him.

On the memorable truce Monday, the twentieth day of the war, Insaf and her group get out of their shelter. They come out to the destroyed city, which is grieving for its children. What is the color of their faces in this exact moment of light?

People now are walking towards the salvation of their souls from this hell. Zeinab falls and twists her ankle; her daughter helps her up and supports her as a crutch. Insaf is scared that people will leave her behind, with her mother and the two girls. Hajjeh Zeinab, already defeated by diabetes, leans on her daughter and moves forward. Now everyone is taking care of one's closest relative. There are women crawling on their hands and knees… Old people falling down like leaves… They either are helped up by a passer-by, or simply remain where they fell when no one notices them. Out of all the days of this war, that day in particular remains deeply engraved in Insaf's mind; this path too, which have been crossed by hordes and hordes of people amidst all this destruction.

These war days have left them unprepared for the migration. When it comes to putting an end to this bumpy trip, amidst the ruins of a city with an exhumed heart, they are completely helpless. The few hundreds of meters they've crossed to reach the car of those waiting at the threshold of destruction have exhausted them. They just need a car, any car to carry them anywhere, far away from the days of Bint Jbeil. However, there are no sufficient cars to transport all these people. So he who found no car just walks.

It is only in Tebnine Hospital that refugees start telling stories to each others. But when photographers would approach them, they'd start yelling: "don’t take our pictures! Go to Bint Jbeil and help those who have stayed there. The children of the slaughtered city will tell stories about those who stayed under the rubble; the corpses eaten by dogs, the destruction… they will tell you about the woman who died in the shelter of a relative, after which he got her out and just laid her on the ground, scared for his children from the decomposing body. "My God", Insaf said, "the day we left was like Resurrection Day!"

Adel escorted his mother, children, wife, sister and all those who decided to leave. Sayyed Ali Hakim stayed in the basement with the crippled old man, which Adel had carried from one house to another. With them remained many others. Two days later, Adel heard that the Sayyed and the people in the basement have left the city, but the crippled man, whose picture had been taken, left Bint Jbeil and never arrived to Beirut. Last night, however, he was reunited with his family. As for Adel's brother-in-law, it has been said that he was found in the last house the group took refuge in. He was injured after the place was bombed. He spent days all alone, and it has been said that he left for Tebnine, but he is still missing.

Adel dug in the pile of rubble to open a door to the basement. He got out in Bint Jbeil, and his old mother collapsed. He carried her. On his way, he found a woman pushing her mother in a wheel-chair. He asked her to let him put his mother in the chair as well, for which he would take over the pushing. After putting one old woman in the lap of the other, he pushed the chair among the holes and above the hills, until reaching the Red Cross ambulance, which is large enough for twenty people… and off to Tebnine hospital. There, he shall ask for a cigarette. And from Tebnine to Saida, where his children shall eat for the first time in days.

Insaf is at her sister's place in Beirut. She sleeps at three in the morning and wakes up in tears at six. She recalls her days in Bint Jbeil. She tells stories and cries. She doesn't believe what has happened. Insaf is a tough woman. She knows that just like she survived Resurrection Day, she will go through this crisis as well. "Thank God for everything", she says, "in the next days, I'll be better". Hassan is at his relatives' in Beirut. He called the American embassy and explained that he had lost all the passports at his house. Everything was placed in one bag. The passports, the money, the gold and the papers… But he remembered his life when he ran away, and forgot the bag. Now, he's back to zero: His first house, his new building and his store in Bint Jbeil, are all gone. Israel has leveled all his lifetime efforts to the ground. And now what? "I will go and work in the States once more; I will raise money to rebuild the house". What if Israel comes back? "Let it come back!" What if it demolishes your home? "So what, I'll build it again" And what if it comes back to demolish it once again? "I will rebuild it. I will go on building my home in Bint Jbeil".

Translated by Eve.

Thank you Delirious and Archmemory for looking over my translation.

In Beirut

2006-08-07T15:10:00.000+03:00

Mirvat, big thank you for the translation! Click here to listen to the post in Arabic.

In Beirut

In Beirut,
there’s something, like that, just like that…
Stuck in the air, printed on the walls of small roads,
Dripping little by little from the trees right after the rain…

There’s something that makes my foreign friend drive recklessly and ignore the traffic lights. Something that makes him tell me about some of our places. Places that I haven’t had the chance to see and colors I couldn’t understand. He starts understanding the difference between mjadarra and mdardara, he starts talking politics, he loves Fairuz even when he doesn’t understand a word she says. He starts building a house in the mountain, where he would spend the rest of the summer. And sometimes, so many times, he would get carried away and say: “Us Lebanese will never learn…”

In Beirut,
there’s something that makes him love her more than i do…
There’s always a shortcut road that takes you to the sea. There are always cameras taking pictures, fearing that the eye would forget, fearing that the heart would drift…
There’s a road built just to carry your dream, while you walk, not knowing where.
There’s something in people’s eyes, like a question, like the old buildings, like an escaping look, like the ruin.

In Beirut,
there’s a secret that you don’t know until you’re at the airport with your bag… until you’re estranged stranded in young cities, one after the other, forever longing to your crude city, the city where “the difference between the darkness and the light is one word”… And you miss the familiar chaos where the cars park on sidewalks and people strut in the middle of the streets… And forever, for as much as you hide away, you’re haunted with the fever of Beirut, and you know the illness is part of you and you know that she will never leave you.

In Beirut,
There’s something bigger than me, and bigger than you. There’s an April that never ends. And a place, a place that, whenever you lose yourself, whenever you fall, whenever you hurt, you come back whispering the letters of its name once anew, in Beirut.

In Beirut, there’s something, like that, just like that…
Stuck in the air, printed on the walls of small roads,
Dripping from the trees after the rain…

Nos Noms

2006-08-05T14:12:00.000+03:00

Thx you Houdac for translating this post of mine into French.

Tu sais ce qui me dérange aussi ? c'est comment ils prononcent nos noms avec leurs accents occidentaux. Ton village et le mien, tous ces endroits où mon père nous emmenait nous balader. Comme ça, à tout va go, comme un étranger qui t'informe que ton amour ancien s'est marié ou est mort ou s'est suicidé, sans qu'il se rende compte de cette douleur que tu as dans les yeux.

Cela m'énerve comme les mots sont déformés dans leurs bouches…comme ils essayent de prononcer ces mots mais sans grande réussite…et comme ils lisent…ils n'essayent même pas de demander ce que signifie tel ou tel nom.

A de pareils moments, je ne pense plus qu'à prendre la télécommande, la leur jeter à la figure : « son nom est '3aita ach cha3b’, ‘3aita ach cha3b' nom de Dieu ! ou 'Majdel Selm', ou ' Maroune errass, ou '3ein ebel'… » D'accord, n'en dis rien. Je sais que c'est difficile de porter un regard comme le notre propre sur nos lettres, nos noms, notre langue…tout en nous ! Mais moi je suis amoureuse de la dureté même de notre alphabet et ta voix rauque quand tu prononce du fin fond du cœur : « 3aytaroun » !

Mais attends, tu ne vois pas comment ils parlent du fleuve 'allitani' ? Comme si on n'avait pas l'habitude d'y aller avec notre bande d’amis, étendre nos serviettes colorées, jouer aux cartes, et toi me porter, m'immerger dans l'eau !

Comme si jamais il y a eu d'enfants qui jouaient sous ses arbres. Comme si jamais plus il n'y aurait encore plein d'enfants qui joueraient sous ses arbres…

Tu entends comme ils parlent de 'lkhiam' ? Comme si jamais je n'y avais passé de vacances, ou q'un des enfants des voisins y avait l'habitude de se moquer de moi ! Comme si elles n'avaient jamais porté en elles ces voix qui hurlaient la nuit de souffrance, torturées dans leurs geôles ! Comme si jamais on ne leur a chanté, à chaque fois qu'on a demandé à celui 'qui part vers mon pays " اللّي رايح صوب بلادي" de transmettre nos salutations.

Et là, maintenant, quand ils disent 'Baalbak', ont-ils la moindre connaissance de son histoire, de ses histoires ? Savent-ils que ses rochers sont plus vieux que tous leurs pays réunis ?

Tu sais ? Finalement, après tout ce qui s'est passé, pour une fois le monde entier entend parler de nos noms…des noms que nous-même ignorions. Il faut que tu voies comment ils prononçaient 'deir 3amess’ il y a quelques instants, ou 'deb3al' ou 'rachkananay'. Ils le faisaient comme celui qui attend qu'on vienne le secourir d'un effrayant ogre.

Soit ! On est ainsi, il ne se souviennent de nous qu'ainsi. Ils ne nous connaissent que tels : des experts de misères et de guerres. Ils ne savent pas qu'autant on a expérimenté la tristesse, autant on a appris à rire…même si souvent on rit de nous même.

Tu sais à quoi je pense aussi ? Je voudrais embrasser cette grand-mère et ce grand-père qu'ils filment avec leurs caméras, qui leur disent, avec leurs accents du sud « Monsieur, je ne vais pas m'enfuir d'ici ! »…même s'ils traduisent bien ces mots, penses-tu qu'ils comprennent réellement ce que veux dire « Jamais nous ne laisserons notre maison seule la nuit, dans le noir ! » ?

Toute cette dévastation...et nos noms, à leurs yeux, ne sont pas plus qu'un journal télé.

Ici et Là-bas

2006-08-05T14:00:00.000+03:00

I have also come across this post translated by Bonoboo47

M'y voici donc. De l'autre côté de la mer. La deuxième face de la lune. Là où tout est beau et confortable, même si c'est toujours un peu froid.

Il fallait que je parte. Toi tu sais.
Ils sont entrain de dévorer cette terre, et moi... je ne le supporte plus.
Le spectacle aux frontières était douloureux.
Tous veulent rester; tous doivent partir.
J'ai failli les attraper par les épaules, les secouer comme ça, et crier: "comment... n'ayez pas honte de vous..." j'oubliais que moi aussi, avec ceux qui partaient, je partais.

Le pire c'est de voyager en bateau, tu sais?
L'avion; quelques minutes et il s'envole. La voiture; un coup d'accélérateur et elle s'éloigne. Mais en bateau; tu restes planté là, à regarder le port malgré toi... tu regardes la terre s'éloigner, les gens devenir petits, une main qui s'agite, une main émue qui ne peut plus s'agiter, un sac en plastique qui vole dans le vent, une fille qui pend son linge, des maisons fermées où il n'y a plus de filles pour pendre le linge, ton rêve qu'ils ont égaré... ton rêve que, peut-être, tu as laissé s'égarer...

Il n'a pas compris, mon ami à l'aéroport, quand j'ai posé ma tête sur son épaule et que je me suis mis à pleurer.

Non, je ne suis pas heureux d'être en sécurité. Je ne suis pas bien... Je suis écoeuré... Je suis étranglé de l'intérieur... Je suis ici à l'abri, et vous, vous êtes toujours là-bas. Ici je suis une ombre, pas plus, mais vous au moins vous êtes vivants. Ici je ne vaux pas plus que 5min dans les informations. Je suis un numéro. Nous sommes tous des numéros. Notre identité, c'est les cadavres et la pierre détruite... Ici nous sommes sauvages, nous ne savons pas vivre ensemble. Nous ne savons pas aimer. Nous ne savons ce qu'est la Nation, avant la religion...

Moi?
Je suis là et pas là-bas
Là mais pas vraiment là
Là mais je me suis oublié là-bas
Pas du tout là
Avec vous là-bas

Je commence à dire n'importe quoi. Toi, fais attention à toi. Chantes-moi cette chanson de temps en temps... Si tu chantes toujours.

!!!!!!

2006-07-31T00:12:00.000+03:00

(big thank you to dear Archmemory for the translation into English).

Is it tasty?

The flesh of children while asleep?

Delicious?

And the corpses that burnt while dreaming?

Are they pretty?

The ambulance cars being shelled?

The blood dripping from the walls?

And those that are still alive under the rubble?

Is everything to your liking? Satisfied?

Twenty days and you have been chewing our hearts

And your teeth are yellowed, your smell noxious.

Twenty days and you have been pushing our buttons

And the world, some cheering on and some silent.

Twenty!

You want more?

More than Twenty?

Justice? Mercy? Religion?

Huh! Do you even have a god?

Screw your world!

Where the angels die

Demons awake.

Lebanon's Beautiful Faces

2006-07-27T14:42:00.000+03:00

Thank you Mirvat for the translation, I couldn't have done it any better!

I leave my house every day running away from my reflection in the mirror. I flee to empty streets and closed shops. My face lurks in the windows of the shops.

I don’t keep track of the hour. The days lost me. I get my first lesson in tranquilizers from the pharmacist and I see my face in his look, his gestures and the pill.

I open my mail. Friends. Strangers. Interviews. Tender voices. I say I am fine. I see my face blink between the silence and the words.

I search for my scream that is yet to reach out. An angry silence, dry, dances to the constant deafening humming in my head. I do everything for the violent banging to stop. I pray to be swiftly swept by menstrual pain so I would forget the pain festering in my thoughts. I pray to vomit it out with all what is stuck inside of me of disgust and hate and burned bodies and indifferent world. I pray for these faces to look away.
These faces that, every time I try to hide my eyes, take my hands away and stare at me.

How our faces resemble the heart and soul of this land. How they carry prints of our sand, our dust our papers and our dates.. How they resemble the vineyards of Bekaa, the apples of the mountain, Saida’s castle and Sour’s marina. How full these faces are of the summer’s sun, of December’s wrath, of rain dripples on the windows and of September’s last days. How our faces scream of springs, of mountain roads, of tree branches that witnessed our childhood, of stolen first kisses… How our faces draw smiles out of disasters and print the tears we dried with laughter… How you, My Lebanon, live in our faces…

On TV, a caller mourns Layal, the journalist killed by Israeli aggression, hoping Layal’s shining soul would live again through her gorgeous face, the voice whispers to her “you too are like my Lebanon, beautiful, smart worldly, your fate is to always die at the end”… All these faces… Lebanon every where I go… And I cannot look…

And you… you come to take my hands off my face, you demand that I look. You raise your voice “look, look!”, while you tie my tired wrists. And you keep demanding till I finally scream, a scream far out, out of the earth. A scream stronger of all the details in history and all the destinies. A scream for Lebanon’s beautiful faces.

Ahmad

2006-07-26T01:24:00.000+03:00

I really want to thank Ammar for translating this following piece I originally wrote in Arabic (click to enlarge).

I'm here and not here

2006-07-22T22:20:00.000+03:00

This is a translation of one of my posts in Arabic, done by a dear friend of mine, Arch.memory, whose presence these days made this crisis a little more bearable. thx you Ash, thx you to all friends and strangers who have been sending to check on me as well.

I’m here now. From the other side of the sea, from the second face of the moon. Where everything is sweet, and calm, even if always cold.

I had to leave, you know.
Everyone was taking a bite off this land. And I… couldn’t stand it anymore.
The scene at the border was painful.
They all wanted to stay; they all had to leave.
I wanted to call out to them, I was about to hold their shoulders, shake them like this, and yell at them: “How could you? Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves?” I forgot that I, too, with the departing am departing.

The worst way for one to travel is by boat, you know? The plane, a few minutes and you’re flying. The car, a step on the fuel and you go. But on the boat, you stay standing, contemplating the marina, against your will… Looking at the land getting further away, at the people getting smaller, at a hand waving, and a hand, choked, that couldn’t wave. At a bag flying in the air, at a girl pinning laundry on a clothesline, at shuttered houses with no girl pinning laundry or clotheslines. Looking at your dream that they lost… At your dream that, maybe, you let get lost.

He didn’t understand me, my friend at the airport, when my head fell onto his shoulder, and I started to sob.

No, I’m not glad to be safe now. I am upset, I am crestfallen, I am choked from the inside…I am here in safety, and you are still over there. I am here a living illusion, no more, but you are at least alive. I am here but not worth more than five minutes of the news. I am a number. We are all numbers. Our identity is corpses and the stone that is shattering… Here were are barbarians, we don’t know how to live together, don’t know how to love. We don’t know that a homeland comes, always, before religion…

Me?
I’m here and not there
Here and not here
Here forgetting myself there
Never here
Always, with you, there

I’m starting to ramble. You take care of yourself. Do sing me that song from time to time… if you still sing.

Go to Hell, Lebanon will Stay

2006-07-22T22:10:00.000+03:00

This is a translation of one of my posts in Arabic, done by a dear friend of mine, Arch.memory, whose presence these days made this crisis a little more bearable. thx you Ash, thx you to all friends and strangers who have been sending to check on me as well.

The raids yesterday exceeded thirty. I toss on my bed. The counting exhausts me. My tossing is almost in synch with the repetitive rhythm of explosions. For a while I imagine that I am no longer shaking with their roar. It’s been four nights now, four nights and I don’t want to sleep, and sleep in turn doesn’t want me. Four nights and the call to prayer at dawn finds me awake… When its sound mingles with the chatter of the nearby Dahyeh suburbs and the noise of my thoughts, sleep sits at the edge of my bed, and we go on chatting for what is left of the morning hours…

Ambulances, the panting of the TV, the voice of the newscaster sobbing at this very instance. It is all in the background. I look at them picking up the corpses. They say they burnt alive. Somehow, I smell burnt flesh.

I walk constantly. I can’t sit for long. I turn around myself. I look through the window. I look above. “God, love us a little. A little more!”

I want my silly life back. I want to get back to my desk that’s drowning under translation papers. I want to wake up in the morning and mull over what dress to wear. I want to match the color of my makeup and the color of my skirt. I want to go back to writing frivolous posts about love… To organizing the trip to Italy again… To tease the fans of Germany for the loss of their soccer team… To execute my postponed project with Maysoun… To go and take pictures of Beirut , Beirut smiling… To enjoy quarreling with my colleague at the office… To dance with Rima… To get angry at Wadih… To make you understand that I am not budging from here, whether we are at peace or at war, in festivities or in silence… And you’ll smile because you know that I won’t budge.

The world is silent. The losses, we have stopped counting them. Some are busy pointing the fingers of blame. And in the midst of all this? The lighthouse, the port, the bridge, the stone, the word, Fairouz, the airport, the child under the rubble, Beirut, Sidon, Tyre, el-Jiyyeh, Tripoli, Baalbeck, Chtura, el-Naqoura, and Lebanon! And Lebanon ! And Lebanon …

And the human being.

And the remaining human being whose voice rises, between one hit and another, whose voice rises, “Let Fairouz go back to Baalbeck!”

Lebanon, green beautiful Lebanon… What rape is this… What rape…

United For Peace and Justice

2006-07-20T15:40:00.000+03:00

Please Forward Widely

Emergency Action to End the War on Lebanon Deliver a Letter to the US Mission of the United Nations Join UFPJ and peace and justice activists: Friday, July 21, 4 -5:30 PM140 East 45th Street (between Third and Lexington Avenues)

We call for the Bush administration to:
* Support a Security Council resolution calling for an immediate andunconditional cease-fire;
* Urge negotiations now to resolve all disputes including the release ofprisoners on all sides;
* Put an end to US blocking of UN action.We will stage a picket outside the mission and deliver a letter signed by UFPJ andother peace and justice organizations.
(See text of letter below.)

While the world is crying out for global intervention to stop the bloodshed, we have been tremendously disappointed by the response from the Bush administration. And instead of rallying the international community to call for an immediate cease-fire to stop further bloodshed, it has blocked the UN efforts to do just that. We condemn all attacks on civilians, and call for the release of prisoners held onall sides in this conflict, including the Israeli soldiers captured by Hezbollah. But while Hezbollah violated international law by attacking Israel and then firingmissiles at Israeli cities, Israel's clearly disproportionate response is an act ofcollective punishment against the Lebanese population -- a serious violation ofinternational law.On Friday, we will go to the US mission to hold our government accountable for their negligent response to this conflict. Please join us.

Dear Ambassador Bolton,

On behalf of United for Peace and Justice (UFPJ), the largest antiwar coalition in the United States, we want to express our concern over the escalating crisis between Israel and Lebanon and urge you to support a Security Council resolution calling for an immediate and unconditional cease-fire.We are gravely concerned about the loss of lives on both sides. We condemn allattacks on civilians, and call for the release of prisoners held on all sides inthis conflict, including the Israeli soldiers captured by Hezbollah. But whileHezbollah violated international law by attacking Israel and then firing missiles at Israeli cities, Israel's clearly disproportionate response is an act of collectivepunishment against the Lebanese population -- a serious violation of internationallaw.While the world is crying out for global intervention to stop the bloodshed, we havebeen tremendously disappointed by the response from the Bush administration. Insteadof using its influence on Israel to stop the devastating attacks on the Lebanesepopulation, it has supported such attacks. And instead of rallying the internationalcommunity to call for an immediate cease-fire to stop further bloodshed, it hasblocked UN efforts to call for an immediate cease-fire.We urgently call on the Bush administration to work with international partners to broker an immediate and unconditional cease-fire and commence negotiations topeacefully resolve the crisis.We look forward to hearing your response.

Post This on Your Blogs!

2006-07-15T11:59:00.000+03:00

by Maya

Dear World Leaders,

This letter is a plea from the Lebanese people, and friends of Lebanon . We urge you to exercise any political influence you may have to guide a cease fire between Israel and Hezbollah. Negotiations must take place. The violence that has escalated in Lebanon has gotten out of control, it is insanity! The people of Lebanon are suffering; the Lebanese economy will suffer deeply for years to come. As I am sure you know anger, resentment, and poverty can only lead to further extremism. For the welfare of Lebanese citizens, Israeli citizens, the stability of the Middle East , and indeed the world, we implore you to take action as soon as possible to prevent further violence, destruction, and casualties.

Sincerely,

Friends and Citizens of Lebanon

Its your choice, you can send this email to the one, more than one, or all of the following below. Also, please feel free to send this to anyone you deem appropriate and to add your personal touch to the letter. But always try to keep it polite and civilized. Thank you.

The White House: comments@whitehouse.gov
U.S. VP: vice_president@whitehouse.gov
Israeli minister of defense: pniot@mod.gov.il
Israeli Minister of foreign affairs: feedback@mfa.gov.il
The French President:Go to this site

click on Ecrire au President and copy paste this text in the box provided.

The British government:
public.enquiries@homeoffice.gsi.gov.uk
The British Prime Minister:
http://www.pmo.gov.uk/output/Page821.asp

2006-07-15T00:52:00.000+03:00

You know that feeling by which you discover inno you've been stressing? this horrible pain in the legs, moments after things have cooled down? Well, can I just say inno: my legs are KILLING me right now!!

Let's hope tomorrow's wake-up news are less nauseating.

Voila!

2006-07-09T14:00:00.000+03:00

It was an emotional wreck but, apparently, a success!

Oh, it' s you! ya ahla w sahla!

Warming-up. How on earth do they do that??

Wear Me!

It's Make-up Day

Let's not panic :S

Help is always desperately needed!

Hmmm... whom do we have here?

Ya3teekon l 3afyeh!

Trrrrrrac

2006-07-07T13:00:00.000+03:00

Lately, the main conversation between me and Rima, who also happens to be performing in the show, is focusing on the following:

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, I needed that!

(said only a few hours before the show)

P.S. I think I even scared a poor lady in the street, yesterday.

*2a3sabek ya benet, 2a3sabek*... oh man, I can't eat! that never happened to me before :p

Games

2006-06-30T23:13:00.000+03:00

I never watch football, or at least I stopped watching years ago, ever since the day football games started giving me stress & quasi-heart attacks, and of course, because any team I cheered for used to strangely end up losing the game.
So my first game since long, today: Germany versus Argentina. And history repeated itself all over again… It was stressful indeed, wasn't it?

On a another level, we got a call from one of our relatives, who, you can say, has a part time job as an old fashioned matchmaker:
- No dear, it's not for you this time. I need to talk to one of your sisters (anyone of them?). The "3aress" doesn't want someone too tall. (huh?)
So I got rejected, roghma anfi, due to a couple of centimeters. That's encouraging.

Yalla, still 7 days to Jour J.

9

2006-06-28T10:25:00.000+03:00

Countdown to the "Once Upon a Dance" Show: 9 days

General State: initial signals of stage fright.

Yesterday's Training: danced like a duck.

Expectations: disastrous

Conclusion: but you still have to come :)

NO, no, no...

2006-06-23T13:40:00.000+03:00

I won on that day, remember? :)

Technical Dads

2006-06-21T15:30:00.000+03:00

IT colleague B. (currently in Lebanon) watches his newly-born son (in the States) everyday on the internet, with the help of a camera set in the baby’s room, and adjusted to rotate all around the cradle. It’s very much like real TV: this morning, we were able to see mommy waking up in the middle of the night to feed the baby. She must have known somebody was watching, since she was hearing the camera moving all around the place to look for the missing child. Haram, she didn’t seem happy about it. Anyway, parents also use this device to check on the baby through the laptop, before actually heading to his room. After all, who is in the mood for leaving the bed in the early hours of the morning? Talk about technology, eih?

Yalla, Happy Father's Day everyone. and to those of you who are concerned, can you get more fatherly than that? ;)

Googling Yourself

2006-06-15T07:59:00.000+03:00

I tried googling my name in Arabic, and what do you know: I’m famous! With the exclusion of an entry by some namesake in an Amr-Khaled forum, calling people to follow the path of God, there are about ten entries about yours truly, the books I have translated when I was still struggling in the labor market. Even though I was still naïve at the time, and I let myself be deceived by one employer who never acknowledged me as a translator to two important books I had worked so hard on, and although it was not rewarding money wise, but seeing all these books was priceless indeed. It is at these times that I miss having this kind of relation with a book: no, not the reading part, rather getting to know the book, spending most of your days and nights with it, fantasizing about it, fathoming it out, eagerly waiting for its birth, and then, when you're done with it, going separate ways with a mixture of heartsease and sorrow in your heart.

But anyway, with my current work schedule, succumbing to the spell of such a relation right now would be both a social and a physical suicide. mental too, eventually.

Tagged

2006-06-12T17:00:00.000+03:00

Ok, it's time for fun, and I'm tagged by Nermeena! (sorry for taking that long to answer ya Nerro)

1- Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? As your close friend? As your lover?
Dinner guest: Poutine
Close friend: Lara Fabian
Lover: that gorgeous guy from my "best friend's wedding"!

2- Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by five years to become extremely attractive?
five years? like 5 times 365 days + 1 day on the leap year? certainly not!

3- Would you rather spend a month on vacation with your parents or put in overtime at your current job for four weeks without extra compensation?
are you kidding. I don't think I ever spent a minute after 5:00 p.m. at the office. vacation of course.

4- When did you last cry by yourself? In front of another person?
I teared in from of another person recently. but cried years before, perhaps.

Cried by myself... hmmm... maybe a couple of months ago.

5- If 100 people your age were chosen at random, how many do you think you’d find leading a more satisfying life than yours?
50%

6- If you had the choice of one intimate soul mate and no other close friends, or of no such soul mate and many friends and acquaintances, which would you choose?
Is there a difference between "soul mate" and "close friend" aslan? soul mate may be too "cheesy" for me. I love my close friends & would very much like to keep them all.

7- Do you think your friends would agree with one another about the kind of person you are?
the friends friends ya3neh? yeah, pretty much so.

8- Would you prefer to be blind or deaf?
huh? neither!

9- How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years? Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
I've been wiz Natalou for more than ten, ana w Rima are going on five, and many important current friends including some bloggers are in as well;)

10- If you could mould to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?

Yes. I would erase a lot of embarassing moments. and i dont care if they say: you learn from your mistakes.

11- Would you be content with a marriage of the highest quality in all respects but one – it completely lacked sex?
euh... is there someone who would answer that with a yes?!

12- If you were happily married, and then met someone you felt was certain to always bring you deeply passionate, intoxicating love, would you leave your spouse? What if you had kids?

not that I believe in the existence of "everlasting passionate intoxicating love", but yeah I might :p, however, worth more thinking in case of kids.

13- Relative of the population at large? How do you rate your physical attractiveness? Your intelligence? Your personality?

euh... inno ca va... mesheh haleh :)

14- If you could script the basic plot for the dream you will have tonight, what would the story be?
trapped in the elevator with a particular someone :p hey im realistic, no?

15- While out one day, you are surprised to see your father holding hands with someone who is clearly his lover, he begs you not to say anything to your mother. How would you respond? What if your mother later told you that she was going crazy thinking that your father was having an affair yet knew it was just her imagination?
I'll definitely tell. ba3ed na2es!

16- If you had to spend the next 2 years inside a small but fully provisioned Antarctic shelter with one other person, whom would you like to have with you?
yiy... if I brought the one I have in mind, I'll end up not standing to see him in the end of these two years. la2 haram. I think I'll bring my dance teacher. heik in the end, I'll be a pro :)

17- You become involved romantically but after 6 months realize you need to end the relationship. If you were certain the person would commit suicide if you were to leave and were also certain you could not be happy with the person, what would you do?
dump him still. w yostofel.

18- What was your most enjoyable dream? Your worst nightmare?
I can pass one question, no?

19- If by sacrificing your life you could contribute so much to the world you would be honored by all nations, would you be willing to do so? If so, would you make the sacrifice knowing that someone you thoroughly disliked would received that honor while you went unrecognized?
Hey, I'm not a saint. I might do the first one if I'm caught up in the heat of the moment.

20- Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you are?
yeah, it will be more challenging.

21- You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try and correct the mistake?
no idea. I'm not into motherhood yet. but yeah, I think I'll exchange.

22- When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
singing to myself: everyday

to someone else: last week, and he said my voice is not bad :p no, no, I didn't threathen him.

23- Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished you were of the opposite sex?
first question: it's a man's world

second question: only one time every month. 3azeib!

24- What are your most compulsive habits? Do you regularly struggle to break these habits?
I'm suspicious. I question people's motives. I guess I'm not used to people just being nice heik. I should stop doing that.

25- Would you enjoy spending a month of solitude in a beautiful natural setting? Food and shelter would be provided but you would not see another person.
Not at all. Ljanneh bala nes...

26- If you knew you would die of an incurable disease within 3 months, would you allow yourself to be frozen within the week if you knew it would give you a modest chance of being revived in 1,000 years and living a greatly extended life?

no, thx.

27- You are invited to a party that will be attended by many fascinating people you’ve never met. Would you want to go if you had to go by yourself?
yeah, it's not everyday you meet many fascinating people.

28- If you were at a friend’s house for thanksgiving dinner and you found a dead cockroach in your salad, what would you do?
My screaming will take care of it.

29- If someone you love deeply is brutally murdered and you know the identity of the murderer, who unfortunately is acquitted of the crime. Would you seek revenge?

Yes.

Anyone who wants to be tagged is welcome to do so!

Hands Off!

2006-06-12T00:45:00.000+03:00

I was doing some window-shopping yesterday, and all of a sudden, I felt this hand pulling me hard, and dragging me a few steps ahead:
- You have to see this; I found the perfect shoes for you!
My mind hadn’t processed yet what did just happen, or why a stranger decided I must check those perfect shoes she was so excited about. I wanted to say: "hey, lady, Look at me! I'm not your sister or friend or whomever you thought I was!" but I was just too surprised, lazy or numb if you want. I was being carried away and keeping the silence. And although she did look at me at some point, she kept pulling my hand zealously; who knows, maybe her mind was in a slow processing mode as well.
In the end, she realized her mistake, and simply let go without uttering a single word.

An hour later, in some other place, I was paying the cashier the price of an item I purchased, when I felt a couple of hands touching me. "ya 3ammeh, shul ossa!" was I being robbed? Or maybe the place is just too crowded? The hands were getting closer and closer, as if hugging me from behind, and I was vainly trying to turn and return, still not processing what was going on. A few seconds later, they still wouldn’t let go. But it wasn’t due to the crowd! This time, when the girl in question discovered she mistook me for her friend, she almost died of embarrassment and quickly faded away.

Did I wear the wrong clothes that day? Or maybe I wore the wrong face? The anonymous one? Was I Mrs. Smith or Mme Dupond, or just somebody who is nobody, somebody who can be anybody? I don’t know. but it was weird. and disturbing.

Kitty

2006-06-10T15:18:00.000+03:00

Who are you and Why are you looking at me like that?

I'm just small

lonely

and away from home

Who are you? Is this why you're looking at me like that?

Inno shouuuu...

2006-06-06T21:51:00.000+03:00

One of the arguments that usually get me scolded by my mother is saying "shou?" instead of "na3am?" sometimes. Yes, I'm 25 and I still argue with my mom over the shou/na3am use. In fact, "shou" is categorized under the insult section in our house (this is an answer to all the people who wonder why I never swear when driving). And btw, don't think it's an excuse if it accidentally slipped your mind:
- Mom, come on! I just came back from the gym. I'm all sweaty, smelly, disgusting and ready to crash down on anything! Not the shou/na3am argument!

On the other hand, stepping into the "outside world" can get confusing. I have often heard the speech that someone from long time ago used to deliver to me every time:
- "Na3am?"? mahdoumeh Eve, are you serious? What am I? the Abouna/ Father of the church?

So after all these years, I'm programmed to saying "na3am" now, bass inno how can you be Lebanese and not say "shou" wlo?!

Jounieh & Adma by Bike

2006-06-05T15:29:00.000+03:00

Guys, it was so coooool! (although certain parts of my body do not totally share that thought)

2006-05-29T19:58:00.000+03:00

So this is what "losing face" feels like?

Pissed Off

2006-05-25T20:20:00.000+03:00

Last week, he tried every possible way to convince me of giving him her number.

Today, he is complaining how she's all over him.

I don't know. maybe I'm too feminist. maybe I just overreacted. but the way I completely lost it over there was something to be seen! my stomach still hurts...

Dilemma

2006-05-22T22:07:00.000+03:00

A long-time-no-see friend from college days called me earlier: "ya soleil1146! I'm having my wedding on July 9th, and you're one of the few classmates I'm inviting. You must come!".

Wow. I'm honored w flattered w touched wallazi minhou etc. etc.
Bass inno, does it have to be on July 9th? Leih? Leihhhhhh?

To make things clearer, check this link. yes, the dance show I've been waiting for (living for 3a shway) will happen, again, on... July 9th for sure. shu laken! And I can't miss it! can't can't can't! I'm using the word "can't" three times here! w kamein, this show will be exceptional and kind of hot :p, with moves inspired by songs like this one. You can all show up 3ala fikra ;)

Pfff.. how about showing up at that wedding, all sweaty and with a smell, like I just got out of the gym? sa3beh shway.. yeah I know... not in Lebanon!

friend's wedding- dance- friend- dance- friend- dance...

Tab what to do/ shul 3amal!!!

yiii, khalas... bala friends bala ballout. dance akeeed!

Go Figure

2006-05-14T23:31:00.000+03:00

The more I hear of people's misfortunes, the more I think I should shut up and live.

But sometimes, I just want to whine… and complain… and cry over all my stupid little things…

Free Alaa Campaign

2006-05-12T10:58:00.000+03:00

Currently there are about 48 detained in Egypt, 6 of them are bloggers, and 3 of them are women. The best known is Alaa, which makes him the posterboy of this campaign - but getting them out is equally as important. Egypt has fewer than 830 bloggers all in all, 60 of whom are political and less than 30 are politically active. Now 6 of those are in jail - 20% of all politically active Egyptian bloggers - and amongst them one of Egypt's most highly profiled one.

Ne Lui Parlez Plus d'Elle

2006-05-11T19:58:00.000+03:00

Pour sortir d’un tout qui n’est rien
Il prend son courage par la main
En découvrant le mal
Qu’elle lui faisait pour son bien
Il a perdu tous ses rêves en chemin
Sans être ni frère ni ami
Ils s’étaient promis toute une vie
Elle voulait lui faire un enfant
C’était du faux, c’était du vent
Elle inventait la vérité
Il se déchire comme du papier

Ne lui parlez plus d’elle
Elle est encore dans les regards
Qui se mélangent dans son miroir
Oubliées les images
Et toutes ces femmes infidèles
Il voudrait tellement qu’elle ne soit
Qu’une souris parmi les chats
Dans cette vie,
Ne lui parlez plus d’elle
A présent, le passé se meurt
Les regrets ne tuent pas les heures
Il n’existe pas une armure
Qui puisse empêcher les blessures
Il faut éloigner le silence
Pour qu’il retrouve sa confiance

Ne lui parlez plus d’elle
Elle est encore dans les regards
Qui se mélangent dans son miroir
Oubliées les images

Non, plus jamais il ne laissera
Son envie d’aimer être seul maître
Non, plus jamais il ne l’oubliera
Mais il apprendra qu’on peut renaître

Ne lui parlez plus d’elle
Elle est encore dans les regards
Qui se mélangent dans son miroir
Oubliées les images
Et toutes ces femmes infidèles
Il voudrait tellement qu’elle ne soit
Qu’une souris parmi les chats
Dans cette vie,
Ne lui parlez plus d’elle

Lyrics by Lara Fabian & Jean-Félix Lalanne

Extract

One Unusual List

2006-05-11T12:15:00.000+03:00

The last time we talked, I told him he doesn't really know me; that reading this blog doesn't make him really know who I am. was it a challenge? a defiance? I'm not sure but I got this in return:

P.S. I'm not saying how much of it is true, how much isn't, but in a way, thx Mr. Reader, you made my day :)

- Tu aimes avoir l’image de la femme forte, dominante, intimidante mais c’est une carapace vu que tu te rue dans les salles sombres pour voir le dernier film romantique qui vient de sortir en rêvant à une parfaite parité entre homme et femme.
- tu adores ton travail mais il te prend trop de temps, ce qui t’exaspère mais tu ne fais rien pour changer cela parce que tu adores te sentir indispensable et surtout parce que tu as des rêves a accomplir et tu te dis qu’il faut passer par là.
- tu adores les membres très proche de ta famille, mais tu ne leurs dis jamais je t’aime, tu a du mal a exprimer tes sentiments, et tu es persuadée qu’ils savent de toute manière ce que tu ressens.
- tu es très frileuse, mais ce qui le ressentent le plus : ton nez, le bout de tes doigt, tes oreilles et… tes orteils.
- tu crois un max. dans le pouvoir des regards (tu en uses et tu en abuses parfois).
- si une personne touche a ta mère ou a ta sœur, ou a ton frère, tu les défends comme une louve, persuadée que tu a la responsabilité de réagir, le plus violemment possible.
- quand tu aimes c’est sans bornes,
- si quelqu’un te fais du mal, tu le hais pendant une semaine après tu le ranges dans le rang des oubliettes et tu lui fais porter le fardeau de l’indifférence.
- tu ne te montres jamais faible ce qui t’oblige souvent a pleurer en silence sans que personne ne le sache.
- tu n’es pas excentrique mais tu adore que l’on te remarque.
- tu regardes toujours en l’air quand tu marche, tu ne dévisage jamais les gens qui passent devant toi.
- tu n’aimes pas avoir beaucoup d’amis une seule ou un seul te suffit. Mais cette personne est le ou la gardienne de tous tes secrets… enfin comme même pas tous non plus.
- tu es très rêveuse, mais dans la vrai vie, tu es très pragmatique.
- tu vis deux vies, la première c’est celle de Eve et l’autre est celle de*** je ne sais pas mais elle est plus fragile que Eve (Eve est la gardienne farouche de****).
- tu crois dans le grand amour mais tu es dégoutée des hommes qui t’entourent parce qu’ils ne représentent pas forcement ce que tu imagines. (keep the faith)
- tu adores les challenges, tu adores te dépasser, te surpasser, même si cela empiète sur ta vie et sur tes amours.
- tu te sens parfois très seule.
- tu as très souvent l’impression de n’être pas a ta place, et de voir ta vie défiler devant toi.
- dans ton espace vital (chambre ou pièce de la maison préférée), il y a un coin dans lequel tu jette en vrac tes affaires, tu les oublies pour les retrouver des années après (tu adores constater, faire le bilan de ta vie des années après).
- tu aimes t’analyser,
- tu détestes les gens qui te prennent de haut, et tu attends le moment de la vengeance avec impatience.
- tu es du genre a te venger (c bien), et même si tu ne vas pas le crier sur les toits tu es très fière de toi.
- tu es très heureuse du choix de ta formation, et de tes choix professionnelles.
- tu crois au destin, a condition qu’il écrive ce que tu a envi d’entendre.
- tu adores que je te dise « que tu me manques atrocement »… OUI, mais tu as du mal a le croire, parce que tu ne fais pas confiance aussi facilement.
- tu n’accordes ta confiance qu’a des personnes rares et qui te connaissent depuis très très longtemps.
- tu aimes les chiens en peluche, pas en vrai, c sale sa pue , ça perds des poiles…. En somme c trop pour toi…. En + ça mord…
- tu es une chipie et tu adores te conduire comme cela.
- tu n’hésites pas a intimider les gens surtout si tu sais qu’ils ont la patience de ne pas t’envoyer balader, c'est une manière pour toi de les tester et de voir jusqu’où peut arriver leur loyauté envers toi.
- tu adores avoir des conversations très profondes sur fond humoristique avec des amies que tu adores,
- dans les premiers temps d’une rencontre avec X, tu écoutes beaucoup, tu cernes le personnage, et si tu as confiance, tu te mets a lui parler…. cela peut prendre beaucoup de temps.
- tu es très très très sensible, mais tu détestes le montrer. Parce que pour toi c une forme de faiblesse.
- les gens ne te comprennent pas forcement.
- la vie sans voyage, pour toi, c'est comme de l’air sans oxygène, tu as besoin d’aller voir ailleurs pour revenir, plus apaisée et plus sereine.
- tu danses très souvent seule sans que personne ne te vois
- tu éclates très souvent de rire en repensant a des choses arrivés ou imaginés
- tu as une âme d’enfant, tu as peur de grandir car pour toi c’est synonyme de vieillir, et tu n’as pas envi de perdre ta candeur, car c’est elle le terrain de jeu de ta vie fantasque.
- tu tombes souvent amoureuse de mauvaises personnes.
- tu n’as pas de patience, et tu tapes des crises si une choses ne va pas dans le sens que tu veux.
- tu n’es pas prête de laisser tomber tes rêves et tes ambitions pour un homme. (tu as raison)
- tu es très curieuse
- tu es très maladroite, c due probablement a la fatigue
- tu ne sais rien faire en cuisine, mais tu aimes les bons restaurants
- tu ne pourras jamais faire ta vie avec un homme ou une femme qui te dicte ta façon d’être de vivre, de penser, de te conduire, de t’habiller, parce que c'est une manière d’effacer ton individualité.
- tu as eu une fois le cœur brisé, sévèrement brisé, et tu ne veux pas qu’un autre le fasse alors tu le fais payer comme tu le peux a celui qui ose t’approcher, en te disant que s'il ose s’accrocher, et bien il méritera peut-être, éventuellement, que tu te penches sur son cas…. Mais c très rare.
- tu adores ton anniversaire…. Pour les cadeaux , le fait de voir filer une année te fou le cafard,…. Pour 5 min puis tu es complètement indifférente.
- tu es paradoxale et simple a la fois….. enfin on se comprend
- tu es très fidèle en amour, tu es d’ailleurs, toujours très fidèle a la première personne qui t’a brisé le cœur, même si tu a eu d’autres relations, tu continues a comparer…
- tu cours comme un canard (je ne c pas pourquoi …. Mais c l’image que g de toi…. Lol demande a ta ou ton meilleur ami)
- tu aimes te tourner en dérision, mais tu n’aimes pas quand c'est une personne d’autre qui le fait
- tu es très très très fière.
- quand tu voyages, tu parles beaucoup de ton pays, c quelque chose qui t’obsède.
- tu détestes les jeux de ballons, parce que tu … cours… non je plaisante… pas sexy pour un sou le fait de courir derrière un ballon, tu évites, a part le tennis qui peut renvoyer une image d’héroïne des années 30, tu préfères le sport en salle, tu te met soit devant ou au centre mais jamais au fond.
- tu te trouves pas mal, voir pas mal du tout (moi je te trouve canon, mais c pas le propos)
- tu étais un garçon manqué, tu adorais courir étant jeune, et te bagarrer avec des dragons imaginaires, ce qui t'a valu quelques cicatrices... un peu partout sur le corps, mais cela ne te gene pas du tout, au contraire, il t’arrive de les regarder, en essayant de te souvenir du jour dans lesquel tu te les as faites…. C comme si ton histoire étais marquée sur ta peau, tu aimes le concept. Je l’ai inventé.
- tu chantes comme un pied, mais cela ne t’empêche pas de le faire sous la douche.
- tu as souvent le regard absent
- tu aimerais que l’amitié homme femme soit possible, mais tu y crois de moins en moins
- ton homme idéal : beau (mais pas trop il ne faut pas qu’il te prenne la vedette, par contre très charmant), qu’il te fasse plier de rire (mais toujours avec un humour très fin, dont vous serez les seuls a connaître les codes), qu’il soit prévenant (mais pas étouffant), charismatique (mais surtout pas un aimant a femmes, tu es la seule maîtresse à bord), intelligent (mais pas imbu de sa personne, il faut qu’il s'émerveille à chaque fois que tu amènes une réflexion profonde), spirituel (mais pas énigmatique, c bon pour un temps après on se lasse), sensible (mais pas qu’il fonde en larme a chaque fois qu’il aperçoit un couché de soleil), fort (mais pas brutal), doux (mais pas mou), qu’il adore voyager (mais jamais sans toi), qui soit fière de toi (et qu’il ne s’empêche surtout pas de le dire a chaque fois que vous êtes en compagnie de personnes que tu détestes) , qu’il soit très câlin, …. Et la liste est longue….

2006-05-09T22:02:00.000+03:00

Here's something that will please... ehem... some of you. Turn volume on and try to wake up the poor thing. the poor, poor, poor poor, poor thing.

P.S. if you're anything like my colleague, pull yourself together, man! walaw! ;)

2006-05-09T20:43:00.000+03:00

I'm sick with all the people with fake-vanity issues.

Still Here!

2006-04-19T21:39:00.000+03:00

I was remembering all the cultural events/plays I've been to for the past month. Man, I've been busy! So, let's see, there are:

1. Tostofel Meryl Streep (To Hell with Meryl Streep): a book originally written by Rashid Da3if. Not bad. But after watching number 4, I say number 4 rocks! They both tackle sexual taboo issues by the way. C'est la mode these days, it seems.
2. DanceSing: A group from Quebec performing live at Casino du Liban. Amazing songs and dances from the beginning of the century all the way till nowadays. SUPERB! I really recommend it. And hurry because the last day is on the 23rd.
3. Che Guevara: Of course how could I resist when the leading role is performed by Ammar? It was ok. I expected more though. And no, I didn't wait for him outside, near the coulisses. It was freezing!
4. Haki Neswen: It's everything but blah blah. Really amazing. Those four women are really good at it, not to mention that the play's main theme is not usual: the female vagina. Rape, PMS, domestic violence, sexual relations, etc. all dealt from a woman point of view. I'd give them all my five stars.
5. Magida El-Roumi: I can't wait for her concert. I know I've been to her previous one several months ago, but I'm just an addict.

What else? I feel I'm forgetting something… oh well…

I'm feeling sick. I haven’t caught a cold in ages, so I'm not used to "Atchou" and "Atchi" all day long... *wait here's one coming*... ok... so, I'm just sitting there, with a red nose, and near a basket full of Kleenexes. Nice, eh?

Shu kamein... I was thinking yesterday about my friend's roomate (whom I don't usually talk to, and haven't seen in ages). I know I have previously talked about this strange phenomenon, but this is toooooooo weird: She just gave me a call! Inno come on! We're practically strangers me and her. Shoo 3am biseer?

Btw... Basic Instinct 2? totally boring!

Call of Nature!

2006-04-08T18:19:00.000+03:00

Ok, here's something that I just couldn't resist posting! wHAHAHAHAHA!

la2 w shou, he hasn't forgotten the "shaddeh" and the "soukoun"! I wonder if he sent it to a professional calligrapher! As my friend Rima would say in a situation like this: "yekhreb zou2o!"

Tagged by Rat

2006-04-05T19:36:00.000+03:00

** Place an X by all the things you've done. This is for your entire life:

( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
(X) Been in love
(X) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
(X) Quit your job
( ) Been in a fist fight
(X) Snuck out of your parent's house
(X) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
(X) Lied to a friend
(X) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
( ) Recently coloured your hair
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(X) Danced in the rain
( ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about (yeah well, sleeping is gold too) 2al sunrise 2al!
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( ) Gone roller-skating
( ) Ice-skating

I've also called famous stars (you know who), danced on a stage and felt jealous of some people. w heik...

So, what about you?

How Bored Can We Get In Lebanon?

2006-03-29T13:53:00.000+03:00

- I wish they’d blow something up
- huh?
- They don’t have to kill anyone… if only they blew up a small building. It’s been long wlo!
- ...

Confession

2006-03-21T00:46:00.000+02:00

Parfois, je les hais un peu, les hommes.

Leur façon de quitter, lorsque tout ce qu'il fallait c'était de rester encore… ne serait-ce que pour le temps d'un vol d'hirondelles;

Leur façon de ne jamais quitter, de rester là, à me contempler, ruminant le silence de mes pensées;

Leur façon de ne pas comprendre, de parler, de ne pas parler;
D'avoir peur, de dire que je suis belle sans me déchiffrer;

De m'enlacer tendrement, moi qui cherche quelqu'un pour me secouer;
De chuchoter, lorsque tout ce que je veux est de crier comme un damné;

Je les en veux; je les déteste un peu… peut-être trop, tu sais?

Et même si je ne l'ai jamais dit à personne, parfois même, je m'amuse à jouer de leur cœur brisé…

Bits and Pieces

2006-03-15T22:43:00.000+02:00

- Mood of the moment? It's set on "Walk The Line", a five-star movie, which I'm glad I had the opportunity to watch… w heik I spent the last hour, googling Johnny Cash, whom I have to admit, I never heard of before! bass glad the movie had no dramatic end… I'm certainly not in the mood for one of those right now.

Yii and there was this few-second scene where June Carter handed Johnny Cash a book to read. 2al she always gives out a book after finishing with it. Anyway, you could have heard all the audience in the movie theatre going like: "yi, Gibran! The Prophet"… W ba3dein, there were naturally so many songs in the movies, and you really cannot feel the 2,5 hours passing by. Excellent performance by the actors as well.

- The funny thing when you go out with a teacher & happen to run across his college students in the movie theatre inno they all start to have these thoughts, and give you the look which says: "Hmmm, so this is whom he's dating; eh walla tomorrow the whole class will know!" mahdoumeen :)

- Now I can finally understand what's the controversy about Rajaa El Saneh's new book (Banat El Riyad) is all about. Someone who read it recounted me a chapter that cracked me up (the one about the newly married Saudi woman who lives with her husband in the U.S., and how she discovered about his Japanese girlfriend) hehe, so funny!

- This is how much I've been influenced by blogger: upon visiting one of my daily websites: unterm.un.org, I unconsciously added "blogspot" to it, and sat there wondering angrily why it wasn't opening! Allah yse3ed!

- Ufftt... I'm so angry with myself. done something I shouldn't have done & all the hard work is gone. Now I need to start over. focus ya benet, focus!

- Sometimes, life works in a very weird, teasing, 7illeh-3anneh-ba2a kind of way. and it's tiring... very tiring actually...

*sigh*

My Deathclock

2006-03-12T18:57:00.000+02:00

They call themselves: "a friendly reminder that life is slipping away" HUH! Like there is such thing aslan!

But seriously, watching your deathclock is kind of weird, even if this whole thing was just silly. It's like a slap on the face: tic, tic, tic, your seconds are slipping away... tic, tic, tic...

According to the deathclock, my time will come on October 13, 2059. It will be a Monday. A new week. Mondays are always a time to make resolutions, to finish things one had postponed or put aside. Mondays... new beginnings... new trips... new whatever... Fall would have just started. It wouldn't be too cold at that time. no too hot either. I'd be extinct with a soft breeze, with Emily's last birds of September. I wonder if I'd be first to go, or maybe longing to join those who had preceded me. I wonder...

I wonder if I'd leave with a smile of satisfaction.

I still have 1, 690, 977, 561 seconds left. no wait, 560... 559... 558...

Hmm...

2006-03-06T23:28:00.000+02:00

I'm not exactly a mommy's girl. But who ever had time to make his own lunch, when waking up to work in the morning? Lek who ever had time to wake up min aslo?

Anyway, let's not go there, nor to where my relation with kitchen & cooking stands at the moment. It's ugly, believe me.

What's interesting however is: the bag which my mom chose to place my lunch in!

here, see for yourselves:

You think she suspects anything?

A La Chinese

2006-03-01T22:05:00.000+02:00

Inno I knew he was older, but I didn't realize he was 40 until he told me his Chinese sign is a horse! that should be weird... well, weird and scary: forty-year old guys usually tend to seek marriage, don't they? hmm... shi ma bitammen...

As a side note, ok, ok, I'll say it: I'm a monkey! (I mean by sign of course!) and they do have a point down there ;) I like the part where they talk about my "natural skills" in leadership; that should match my leo features :p

:(

2006-02-26T22:24:00.000+02:00

Inno what was that? how could they kill him?! I think I'll mourn for 40 days and 40 nights! I'm in shock! I'll wear black! I'm about to cry! ma baddeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Seriously, It really feels like losing someone dear... I need a shoulder to cry on :(

(said on the occasion of "Ibnat Al-Mouallem"'s last episode, a.k.a Ammar's show).

Murderers!

Another Way to Speak Lebanese!

2006-02-26T12:16:00.000+02:00

I never get tired of reading this. So funny! If you're not Lebanese, you'll probably have a question or two ;)

From some 2 months 3, I recognized a girl in the tooth of the elephant. She was other look and like the moon! Burn her religion what beautiful. I tried to touch her pulse to see if there is space and it appeared that she is interested. The first day I talked her on the phone and the second day she invited me on the lunch. I asked her "what she kitchenized?", she said "some of his mother's yoghurt on the walking". I liked her project and before I arrived to her, I went to the Milker and bought some lady's arms and some "eat and say thank you". She opened me the door and when she saw the handsome in my hands she said: "yiiiiiii! Your hands be safe, why torture yourself my uncle?". While we are eating, rang the doorbell. She opened the door and entered her old boyfriend. He asked her "who is he?", she said "not your entry". I knew straight he wanted to problemize it. He said: "my eye on you and on him, I will count god not create you!". I said: "look, my head does not carry me, break the evil before the gypsy milk goes up huh! Go page the sea and bleach from my face now!" The man felt on his blood and left the room. In the truth, he poisoned my body very much, but the girl gave breakfast to my nerves. She said: "don't carry worry, my life don't carry worry, put your hands in cold water". I told her: "like my foot, don't get a mind, tell me, are you empty tonight?" she said: "yes, I emptify myself for you". I told her: "thank you my love, you are very digestable".

Cousin Khalloud!

2006-02-25T18:52:00.000+02:00

My favorite guy at the moment:

And he's a great dancer too!

It's Valentine!

2006-02-14T21:56:00.000+02:00

I've been asked this question a lot lately: "What's the perfect Valentine gift?"
Ok ya shabeb, listen to me tashouf:

- First of all, what's with all these teddy bears? Do we look five or something?! Do you know what actually happens to them at our house? Thrown on the shelves; forgotten; becoming part of the décor; thrown away within a certain period of time; or given to little kids (to allow some space to other dull teddy bears)

- Secondly, thx for all the perfume bottles. I mean, really, 3azzabto 7alkon! With four women living under our roof, we rarely think of going out and buying the latest mesmerizing aroma! You got us a decade supply! So, enough with that, and… be creative for heaven's sake!

- Who said buying flowers is predictable? We love getting flowers! And I'm using the word "love" here! A woman never gets bored of them: red, white, yellow, roses, tulips, lilies, even those tiny herb-like flowers you usually see around. Most importantly, we love getting them whether for a special occasion, or just because you saw them on a regular day, and they reminded you of us (I know, this simple easy gesture is just too much to ask, but let's hope inno… ya3neh… inshallah!) Wait, wait, I'm not done here: If you really really aim to impress, make sure "she" gets the bouquet, when she's with friends or colleagues (you'll get 10 extra points for that, w fehmkon kfeyeh!)

- Now when I talked about being creative, I wasn't just talking. A gift that you have put some personal effort in doing/organizing/creating will turn you into God (for a short period of course… ya3neh until you do something and ruin the moment as usual!) Don't underestimate the power of what is usually underestimated (e.g. clichés that are no longer clichés). Yes, I'm talking about love letters, as an example... although I know this doesn’t work backwards: In fact, I once did that… even wanted my letter to look like an old parchment; so I burnt a dozen of papers using the stove fire. Could've burnt my fingers! (so not worth it!) Anyway, I went on burning papers until I had the perfect letter with burnt edges, and the perfect ribbon, with an attempt at a perfect ancient calligraphy. The result? "I'll read it later, darling." It was a poem. And he never really read it… Oops, got carried it away there (no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I ran into him today). Anyway, good thing for you guys, you can use this technique with us. I don't know about the others, but it really left a good impression on me yesterday! (well, yeah, Valentine is now on the 13th in Lebanon :p ).

Did I miss something here? Oh yes, do tell us that you love us from time to time ;-)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Let's Break Some Hearts!

2006-02-09T21:06:00.000+02:00

I've been sent this, as the perfect Valentine gift. I don't know where they got that from, but I don't buy it for a least bit.
However, just picture the poor thing as your latest ex, and express your deepest sadistic emotions. You won't be disappointed ;)

Enjoy!

P.S. Come on, I'm not being mean or anything, but the skeleton is asking for it! :)

Courtney, Ninet or Sofia?

2006-02-04T09:04:00.000+02:00

This site was recommended to me by a friend.

Apparently, all you have to do is scan your picture, and it tells you which celebrity you look like... yay! we're gonna have some fun!

First picture: Courtney Cox, Hillary Swank, Charlize Theron & Shakira. Hmm, I do like Courtney, she's my favorite "friend" actress. Don't know about the resemblance though. I guess you'll have to tell me (those of you who know how I look like of course ;) ).

Second picture (no makeup, bad shot, I don't even know why I keep it): I look like Ninet Tayeb, Martina Hingis, Charlize Theron & Christina Ricci... (who the hell is Ninet Tayeb? I know, I asked myself the same question. Well, here she is. I hope I don't get accused of being an Israeli agent because of that! :p

Third Picture (just to make sure): Sofia Coppola (huh?), Hillary Clinton (what?!), Charlize Theron & Kate Winslet. (Come on wlo! it's my best picture! all dressed up and everything!)

w ba3dein, what's up with Charlize Theron being in the third rank for all three pictures? I mean, I know all guys go nuts for her -including my ex-, but frankly I stopped liking her since I started hating him :)

Ok, couldn't resist trying a fourth picture. This time, I look like Liv Tyler, Kate Winslet, Sofia Coppola & Mariah Carey. And the list can go on. katter khayron walla. In bad times, I'll keep telling myself I look like Charlize Theron. After all, they really insisted!

*Update* I just have to mention this! I was showing the site to my sister, and the poor thing got Condaleeza as one of the options. Now how did my blond, blue-eyed sister looked like Condie to them, I'll never get that! (inno shou jeib tarazan 3a alaska!) I can tell you my sister didn't quite appreciate it :p.

Another Visit to The Theatre

2006-02-02T22:32:00.000+02:00

Highlights of the day:

Finally, I got to watch "Pride & Prejudice", and let me tell you ya jame3a: such a mood lifter! Ya3neh a person (that you might have heard of) would go there, with all the destructive urges that she'd been having, and all the terrible mood swings; and then gets out a whole new cheerful one!

I think the book (written by Jane Austin) had been laying around for years now, somewhere in my bedroom. I got it when I first started to learn English as a third language, but never really managed to convince myself of reading in English. Bekh, such a boring language! (I don't even consider poetry in English to be pleasant, cannot feel it no matter how I tried, but I digress…)

Anyway, aside from the amazing scenes of nature in the movie (sigh, ya3neh shi ra2e3!), on craque aussi pour le fameux Mr. Darcy! Oh sorry, I meant that Mr. Darcy is to die for!

Stoflo, aslan that was not my opinion alone; you should have listened to all the girls who were present there tonight. Some were going like: "yiii, ana baddeh!", others were sighing, and all of them waited long after the movie ended: "Shou? Khalas? We want more" In short, there was a lot of optimism in the air, as it tipsy from too much joyful atmosphere... as if the theatre was glowing with a magic aura that only had an effect on noun el neswa. (w ento ya m3attareen, 7daro ento w sekteen) the guys, I mean.

So, we all know who the new crush for this month is! Matthew something… well, except for me obviously (I have to run some researches about the actor, then I'll get back to you ;) ).

*am planning to go South for the weekend. Hmm, khay! Can't wait… I have been missing it for quite some time now*

yalla, Eve going to bed now... nighty!

2006-02-01T19:15:00.000+02:00

I hereby declare the end of Ammar's crush!

It's not fun anymore.

Discharging

2006-01-31T22:45:00.000+02:00

As often, I asked the taxi driver today to play a song on the radio. After such a long day, I needed something to help me relax/escape on my way home.

"No, haram!" said the guy sitting next to him.
"Excuse me?"
And then I remembered: Islamic New Year (oh btw, yen3ad 3laykon)… Ashoura… ten mourning days, starting from today!
After that of course, I was lectured and taught a great deal about the subject. Did I look like someone who had no clue about it? Pfff, he'd be surprised. Anyway, I just let him do the talking. The last thing I needed was an argument in a taxi, at the end of the day.

Coincidently, earlier today, I had another argument with a friend over a religious matter (no, it's not "so Lebanese!", since it's not about two persons from different religions (duh!); it goes like this: leave me alone, I don't want to hear about Denmark, I don’t care, I just want to be left alone!) (euh, mood swings: I could have also said I don't care about children dying, people suffering, earthquakes etc.), at the end of which I received the following comment: "May God guide you to the right path/Allah yehdeekeh"… And in a I-pity-you tone! Argh, I call upon you, my destructive urges!

What's going on? Is this like the official day to point me out as an "infidel"? The funny thing is believers think I'm an atheist; atheists accuse me of being too much of a believer (well, I do tend to play the devil's advocate, or support the weakest of them once in a while, but even though...). Not that I care about what both parties think... Judgments!

All I wanted…
All I really wanted…
was listening to a song...

Oops... sorry!

2006-01-30T21:14:00.000+02:00

I don’t usually tend to forget birthdays. Not because I write them down or anything. I just don't forget birthdays of people I'm in close contact with, and whom I have been dealing with for a long period of my life. Come to think of it, I'm indifferent to people who call you on your birthday, just because they had written the date down somewhere, or because they had saved it in their mobiles.
Why am I talking about this?
Today, for the first time in my life, I totally forgot about my best friend's birthday!
And yes, it is a big deal for me! I feel weird because it never happened before, and kind of guilty. I know I would not really appreciate it, had it happened the other way around.

"Leih, shou fi lyom?" I had asked her. The nerve I got!

I guess it's not the right time to mention I've been noticing a couple of white hairs every now and then, is it?

Oh, I made a record today: finding a single word in the dictionary took me up to 5 minutes! My mind was obviously somewhere else. It was one of those moment, when you start skimming through the pages, wondering for a second what the right alphabetical order of the letters is.

Yalla, better go back to work. Still one week to go.

S like Strategy

2006-01-25T09:00:00.000+02:00

Here is another day going by, while I try to prove to the freak at the office inno "no, I don’t pretend to hate you because, deep down, I somehow cannot get my hands off you (as if!); I actually, truly, tragically, do really hate you!"

(And fine by me if you read this, bro!)

Pfff… how do some people manage to get so conceited?

On another level, I might be finished with that never-ending book in less than two weeks! So less panic & more coolness in the atmosphere. The key to satisfaction, you might ask? No matter what, at 11:30 p.m. I'm forcing myself to drop everything & be in bed by midnight, so that I can wake up with a shiny not-so-phony smile next morning (eh, mazbout! Keep trying Evy!) And most importantly, no more posts that take longer that 15 minutes of preparation. In other words, khalas latlateh ya benet! Uft! Which reminds me, this morning...

yiii, I said khalas!

ok.. ok.. yalla, going. ma tzo22ish. bye.

Ammar Shalak/ Nazwati

2006-01-22T23:18:00.000+02:00

Ok people! I did it! I finally did it!
For the ones who are already familiar with my "Ammar" crush, I finally called him ya jamé3a!
If we subtracted the number of minutes I spent preparing for my so-called speech (hmm, could go to 30-45 minutes each time), I'd still say the decision to finally press the green button took me some courage! But since I'm apparently "khawta", according to the name constantly attributed to me by my best friend (thx best friend!), and that I always manage to put myself in situations like these, I just went for it.

- OMG! It's ringing! It's not supposed to ring!! It's supposed to say it's out of reach like the last time. And I'm supposed to call Mr. X, and tell him the number you gave me is "falso" ya akhouna! Urghh… I hope I don’t hang up when I hear his voice. Plz, don't let me hang up! Oh my God, he answered! Damn, that's his voice… (and what a nice voice it is :p!) So it WAS the right number! So, I just recited the couple of words I had in mind (I like your acting and blah blah; boy I sound silly as a fan!), so now what?

With a couple more "so"s, the conversation went on smoothly. He was quite nice and polite for someone who talks to you for the first time. In the end, he said… *listen to this*… he actually said he'll keep my number in his mobile phonebook, so that he'd recognize it next time I call! Yaaaay! (better take that yaaaay back; I don't want it to sound too hysterical :p) Make it a "Yay"!

Now, here is a silly question: how to define that fine line between "calling him before he forgets all about me", and… "being a stalker"? And we don't want that, do we?

Elisabethtown

2006-01-16T10:50:00.000+02:00

I have one word for you: Elisabethtown!

A must-see movie:
Not because it's another romantic-comedy, forgotten-in-60-minutes movie (It's not);
Not because Orlando Bloom looks cute in it (He does);
Not because Kristen Dunst's famous line is: "I'm going to miss your lips. And everything attached to them";
Not because it's filled with symbols and hints (my favorite)…

Ya3neh… for the whole package and more. It's a movie about not letting fiascos keep you from living. It's about road trips, maps, a girl with red hats & ashes thrown away at unexpected shrines. It's about the simple life of American country-side people… their strange habit of turning funerals into real parties, where each person remembers the deceased in his own kind of way (never really understood that… Wearing colorful clothes, laughing and singing at a funeral? Or maybe we're the ones who have fake obsequies in this side of the world? who have turned the whole process into some sort of a ritual, with tears and everything; but a ritual truly cold and unemotional from the inside? Anyway, I digress. The point is I'm very satisfied with this movie, regardless of a few slips. So, go and watch (said in a not-so-bossy tone).

Of course, there's always that awkward moment (how could there be not? Walaw!):
A scene from the movie, with loud music and shouting characters; and then there is me who is constantly asking the guy next to me: "why is doing that; what; where; how etc.?" (yes, I usually do that a lot during a movie). And of course- just as you would expect: a change in the scene; total silence… nothing breaking it but the sound of my ardent voice in the movie theatre!

Hehe, I thought that was funny moment… and the funnier was that embarrassed look on his face. plus the way he… (toooot… you're digressing again Eve… bayneh w baynkon, I heard he's blogging, and I really wouldn't want him digging into this blog anytime soon).

Anyway, yalla, I'll call it a night… It looks like I'm paying this blog a lot of visits, lately. I better get out of my head the idea that I'm talking talking while nobody is reading; or else I'll end up saying things I shouldn't… really… say :p. oops, here we go again! Ok, so this is not mysteriouseve, but it's calmer enough for me to babble about nothing and everything. The truth is, for some reason, I've been avoiding mysteriouseve for some time. I'm a little tired, I guess. Yalla, we'll see how things go.

Give Eve a Break!

2006-01-15T11:00:00.000+02:00

Khalas, I can't take it anymore!
Inno khalas ya3neh!
Uft!

My own version of Friday 13th started today as I woke up and went to brush my teeth. A not so pleasant scene in the mirror: my lip covered in blood… dry, thick, cold blood. Great! Inno I know I've been stressing out these last few days, but biting my lip during my sleep? Haydah yalleh kein na2esneh!

Anyway, I spent my weekend working on that damned never-ending book (Devastating Society), which actually devastated no one but yours truly. I've been dreaming of my own, free, personal time since ages. The truth is I didn’t think that accepting a second job would be as soul-killing as this one. All I want is to finish with hearing about el-madroub Bush and his neoconservative gang; about stock options, bonds and the latest economic theories of capitalism; about global warming and why the hell "ecology" is translated by "3elm el tabayyo2" in the stupid dictionary, etc… My deadline is finally approaching; when I think that I've had this book since nearly six months till now, I really wonder how I managed to survive all that time (yeah six months… taking into account that I finish my first job at 5:30 p.m., that it's a 320-page book, and that, in some evenings, I do feel the urge to have a life!). Pffff.

And did I mention my house is a freezer? With such weather, it's even warmer outside than inside. It would be crazy if I ever thought of moving around, away from a source of heat… Well, it's not like I want to nag or anything, but the most ironic thing is that I lost 100 phone units because I totally forgot to recharge my mobile today. Pouf! Gone! Just like that! "lam ya3od ladayka wa7dat", they say! Ah walla? Eh ok! Toz 3laykon!

I'm not seeing my friends much as well. The main reason is that because one lives far in the South, the other in the Bekaa; and I don't have much time to spare for transportations. Good thing they're busy these days with celebrating their one-year anniversary with husband/boyfriend; while I'm about to celebrate my own anniversary with… Bush. Ha! Niyyeleh!

I'm eagerly waiting for this month to end.
Then, comes the day when I'll throw all my dictionaries in a deep hidden hole. Maybe even burn them! Especially that "Harithi" Law dictionary, which dares call itself a decent dictionary, and that "Mawrdoush", which is already torn into pieces here and there (yeah, well, if you count the number of times it "accidentally" fell off my hands, you'd be surprised it's still hanging on!) oh, and don't worry, when you're a translator, you get to name your own dictionaries and have a favorite and least favorite son…eh, one.

Damn! Look at the time! Totally forgot myself here! Better stop ranting for today. I have to get up early tomorrow, after a so-called weekend. This poor neck of mine will be suffering the most, anyway. No time for a closure. You get the point: the usual ranting, in hope for some free time, all by myself & damn those translations, blah blah blah… last but not least: Bush, honey, it's not your fault, but we're breaking up.

Yalla, I'm out of here.

Girl with a bunch of earrings

2006-01-14T19:18:00.000+02:00

So I have kind of a passion for earrings. The weirder, the better. And I have always had a problem with arranging my collection, or looking for a lost earring, or keeping a pair from interlacing with another, or even doi... (ok, ok, I just realized I'm heading towards the shallowness path) but anyway, the point is I "suffered extreeeemely"…

Until I found my salvation:

cool, no?

"Tear"ing Us Down?

2006-01-11T11:11:00.000+02:00

A document I've been translating stirred my curiosity today about why we cry, and why is it that we, as women, are often accused of resorting to our "crocodile tears", to make the best out of a certain situation. I mean you've probably heard it all: women's tears are "the world's greatest water power", "stronger than any acid", and "every woman is wrong, until she cries". Confessions of a misogynistic mind, you'd ask?

Continue reading...

Black

2006-01-09T23:31:00.000+02:00

I'm here because I can't watch Zaven's show anymore. All that talk about Bassel Flayhane and his last struggle with death is just too painful to listen to.
Too painful to listen to! Listen to me… There are people who actually went through the pain of his last days, lived every second of it, and watched him burnt, disfigured & mutilated, and I can't even listen to the recounting of the events!
I don't know to what extent we realize how much Lebanon has gained, when this man, who held many significant international positions, including a job at the World Bank itself, decided to leave everything and come back to his country; and I don't know to what extent we realize how much we have lost, when this same man, in the end of the journey… died. I just don’t know.

Oh well…

I had a nightmare yesterday. And I know "we're not supposed to" talk about our bad dreams, but what the hell... A very close member of my family died, alone, in a car accident. The mere intensity of the shock was enough to wake me up. It was as if someone had slapped me, or shaken me to wake up. Or maybe I was running away from the tragedy I knew I would be facing in my dream, to the safety of the real life. I remember it perfectly well, though: that feeling of a stab in the stomach, the nausea, the suicidal thoughts, the just-wanting-to-let-it-go wishes… all in the space of a few seconds! The next day, that same person told me she found a job, and that she's thinking of buying a car; that she'll have to make some occasional trips to the Bekaa, which means passing by some foggy, risky roads during winter. Don't ask me why, but I just freaked out.

I'm too "black" today. I'm a black leaf, a dark dress, a small crow… and I have some serious issues to solve, alone.

*Later Update* Silly me! forgot to say: Happy Eid everyone! Don't mind the above ranting. I think I spent too much time listening to this song. And I have the Nostalgia guy to thx for this :) !

Quizzie Mood!

2005-12-31T18:44:00.000+02:00

And they say I would kill myself, preferably, stab myself to death! Hmmm... I think I'll go ponder that in my room... euh, with a bunch of daggers... pfff, me? stab myself? rubbish! I would have chosen the gunshot!

You scored as Suicide. Your death will be suicide. What more can I say? Fact: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you want to know how you will commit suicide, take a look at your second highest percentage on the bar graphs.

Suicide

67%

Stabbed

47%

Disappear

47%

Bomb

40%

Cut Throat

40%

Gunshot

40%

Poison

40%

Natural Causes

40%

Drowning

33%

Eaten

33%

Suffocated

27%

Disease

13%

Accident

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

Fire, Fire!

2005-12-31T18:23:00.000+02:00

Oh well, Dragon, Angel or Mermaid.. Happy new year, folks!

You scored as Dragon. Dragon: Now talk about a legend. These magnificent creatures are of many species. Some can be as large as the Earth itself, while others are as small as a mouse. One image that comes to everyone's mind is the large, fire breathing Dragons that loathed humans and loved to sleep on massive piles of gold. Not all dragons have a bad reputation. Most dragons are very wise, caring, and protective (that's good to know, tammantouni). It would make a person very lucky indeed to meet a dragon (yiii, merci, merci!). Especially if they walked away untouched (walla shou? inno shou asdon ya3neh?). I admire your wisdom, for you are the Ancient Dragon (hmm, why do I feel 90?).

Angel

58%

Mermaid

58%

Dragon

58%

Faerie

42%

Demon

34%

WereWolf

33%

What Mythological Creature are you? (Cool Pics!)
created with QuizFarm.com

You Can Help!

2005-12-23T15:03:00.000+02:00

I received this message from Maya, whom I would like to thank for all the efforts. All of you out there, spread the word!

To our fellow Lebanese

This article is addressed to you from your brothers and sisters from around the world. We, the Lebanese abroad, have a very strong voice and we are taking action. You are not alone because the tragic events taking place in our beloved country have united us globally. The murder of our leaders, fathers, brothers and sisters are bring us closer together.

Our group, Al Moghtarebeen is planning to gather this summer in Beirut to show support for our people in Lebanon and to show the world that the millions of Lebanese abroad will not stand by watching all the tragedies unfold. We plan to travel in large numbers from different parts of the world to be there in Beirut and show everyone that we, the Lebanese, Muslim and Christians, are united in the name of our country Lebanon.

We need the support of groups and organizations in Lebanon and around the world to make this event an unparalleled success and show the world who we are. We are a young group, born after the murder of Mr. Hariri and kept growing with the successive murders, the most recent of which was that of Mr. Tueni.

To all Lebanese groups, to An-Nahar and all media, ministries, embassies, universities, to Mr. Saniora, Mr. Jumblat, Mr. Berri, M. Hariri, M. Michel Aoun, Mrs. Setrida Geagea, M. Mohammad Fneich, and all Lebanese around the world, let us unite and work together to show the world that we are one.

Contact us at Moghtarebeen.com – let us work together in support of Lebanon.

"Established in 2005 in the United States, Lebanon Expats and Moghtarebeen.com are the voice of Lebanese scholars, businessmen and professionals living abroad. Their mission is to promote the powerful presence of the Lebanese abroad by carrying on social activities that will improve standards of living, and economical activities that will create job opportunities in Lebanon.

In March this year, the group sent a giant Lebanese Flag around the world to obtain signatures from Lebanese living abroad, the flag toured the USA, Canada, Brazil, United Arab Emirates, France and Lebanon."

My Three Minutes of Fame

2005-12-18T09:59:00.000+02:00

I think I've never had so much fun since a really long time.

Remember that dance I told you about?

The one thing that had annoyed me about my previous trip to Egypt was that I would miss the dance show, which I've been waiting for since ages.
But I didn’t!
I resumed my dance courses three days before the dance show, and didn’t even bother asking Tatiana if I'll still be included in the Dabké. However, my oriental dance teacher suggested, actually forced me, to participate in her other kind of dance (after making a promise of killing the poor me of course… haram Myrna; I can't remember how many times she wanted my head on a stick). Anyway, I had only two courses to learn the whole dance, and was naturally in a real state of panic!

Don't ask me how my first dance in front of an audience was. All I can say is it was really scary and really marvelous! I didn't even realize what I was about to do, except during the five minutes before the starting, hence the coolness which confused my fellow dancers at first. What's more, the girls were finding difficulty in smiling while dancing, as recommended; while I was finding it difficult to wipe the panic smile of my face. I think I was the only girl who was smiling from ear to ear, the whole time. The smile strangely stuck on my face, to such an extent that if someone slapped me at the time, I wouldn’t have had the force to wipe it off. And don't let me start with the shawl, which I barely managed to untie on time, due to the interlacement of beads and threads. But in general, we were a huge success, and much to our surprise, people loved us! In the end, they drew out a couple of names, and... what do you know! I won a Xmas present!

As for our special tunes, which I'll NEVER forget from now on: Zay el Hawa Remix (you know.. the famous line: "w delwa2ti, zay el hawa") + this.

I'll let the pictures speak for themselves now.

Les coulisses: last-minute preparations

Actually, this is last-minute panick

It's showtime!

Warning

2005-12-12T11:00:00.000+02:00

Whatever you do, STAY AWAY from the movie called: Exorcism of Emily Rose something... (it's really, I mean ReAlLy bAd fOr yoUr heAltH!)

Don't EVER let Maldoror talk you into watching it!

And above all, if you're walking back home after midnight, better be accompanied!

Hate you Maldo.. I wonder how will I ever get some sleep tonight... oh and girls, always pick the movie yourself... brrrr...

Lalalalalalala

2005-11-25T09:00:00.000+02:00

Usually, my first reaction when I get in a taxi is: "3am… euh… mister… akhouna… can you please turn on the radio?" I can't help it… something doesn't feel right unless there is some musical tune in the background.

Sometimes, I'd be forced to sit there and listen to the latest political news, or to some silly meaningless dedications, genre: "A7la tahiyyeh la ahla "Doumou3" & "Ashjan"… w tahiyyeh lal control… w I've been trying to call you for the past two hours, just to send my greetings to someone I'm not even sure he's listening, and whom I can just pick up the phone and call!", or to a "sexline-like" girl, who is so "mam7ouneh" that the host is nearly begging her to stop the act and raise her voice. Inno pfff!

Anyway, I got in the bus today, and took the seat behind the driver, who was enchanting us with a series of Tarab songs. They were playing "Akdeb 3aleik", my favorite! I was so in the mood, and thus sang heartily; however, little did I know that my voice was getting louder and louder and... well, louder. Tayyeb, how would I? Even the old French woman who was sitting right next to me was, the whole time, the living proof of a human statue! A few minutes later, however, the driver turned to me and said: "why did you stop?!" I was like: "hein????" When I figured out what he meant, I literally sank in my seat. "So, you don't know the lyrics of the second verse? Is that it?" he added.

I couldn't help laughing and said: "right! Shhh… don’t tell anyone about the singing passenger :-)"

Back in the Game

2005-11-18T09:45:00.000+02:00

My world is starting to make some sense again!

I resumed my dance classes, and it was about time, to say the least! And what do you know? I've been missed! (But of course, that has never stopped Caracalla's haughty teachers from savoring each critical observation, and making you feel like Miss Rusty Body 24/7! What a bunch of snobbish heartless idiots! They suck the life out of you, and leave you totally breathless, totally sweaty, weak and helpless. Strangely enough, you just have to love every second of it!

As I was saying, it was about time. Why? Well, there is a countdown, and there is a show. In exactly one month, starting from today, I'll be on stage for the first time in my life, dancing Dabké (ya waylehhhh!). Unfortunately, I had already missed the first two dances (the Spanish style & the Scheherazade style), and nearly missed the third one (the Dabké style). Ya3neh good thing I thought of dropping by today! They had already started with the rehearsals and I looked like an idiot, true, but hopefully I'll get use to it with time. Inno hopefully. Hope so. Cross my fingers. Inshallah……….. Ok, khalas let's face it, I'm dead! Ya3neh, a Lebanese girl who doesn’t know how to dance the Dabké… shame on me!

Try not to be there on Dec 17th, Ivoire Theatre, at (well the time isn't settled yet). Whistle a lot, and let me hear much clapping (while you're not there, that is). And most importantly, try not to laugh if I suddenly stood still, as if pinned to the ground. Ya waylehhhhhh….

Oh yeah, my world is definitely making sense again! I'm back in the game!