Monday, July 31, 2006


(big thank you to dear Archmemory for the translation into English).

Is it tasty?

The flesh of children while asleep?


And the corpses that burnt while dreaming?

Are they pretty?

The ambulance cars being shelled?

The blood dripping from the walls?

And those that are still alive under the rubble?

Is everything to your liking? Satisfied?

Twenty days and you have been chewing our hearts

And your teeth are yellowed, your smell noxious.

Twenty days and you have been pushing our buttons

And the world, some cheering on and some silent.


You want more?

More than Twenty?

Justice? Mercy? Religion?

Huh! Do you even have a god?

Screw your world!

Where the angels die

Demons awake.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Lebanon's Beautiful Faces

Thank you Mirvat for the translation, I couldn't have done it any better!

I leave my house every day running away from my reflection in the mirror. I flee to empty streets and closed shops. My face lurks in the windows of the shops.

I don’t keep track of the hour. The days lost me. I get my first lesson in tranquilizers from the pharmacist and I see my face in his look, his gestures and the pill.

I open my mail. Friends. Strangers. Interviews. Tender voices. I say I am fine. I see my face blink between the silence and the words.

I search for my scream that is yet to reach out. An angry silence, dry, dances to the constant deafening humming in my head. I do everything for the violent banging to stop. I pray to be swiftly swept by menstrual pain so I would forget the pain festering in my thoughts. I pray to vomit it out with all what is stuck inside of me of disgust and hate and burned bodies and indifferent world. I pray for these faces to look away.
These faces that, every time I try to hide my eyes, take my hands away and stare at me.

How our faces resemble the heart and soul of this land. How they carry prints of our sand, our dust our papers and our dates.. How they resemble the vineyards of Bekaa, the apples of the mountain, Saida’s castle and Sour’s marina. How full these faces are of the summer’s sun, of December’s wrath, of rain dripples on the windows and of September’s last days. How our faces scream of springs, of mountain roads, of tree branches that witnessed our childhood, of stolen first kisses… How our faces draw smiles out of disasters and print the tears we dried with laughter… How you, My Lebanon, live in our faces…

On TV, a caller mourns Layal, the journalist killed by Israeli aggression, hoping Layal’s shining soul would live again through her gorgeous face, the voice whispers to her “you too are like my Lebanon, beautiful, smart worldly, your fate is to always die at the end”… All these faces… Lebanon every where I go… And I cannot look…

And you… you come to take my hands off my face, you demand that I look. You raise your voice “look, look!”, while you tie my tired wrists. And you keep demanding till I finally scream, a scream far out, out of the earth. A scream stronger of all the details in history and all the destinies. A scream for Lebanon’s beautiful faces.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


I really want to thank Ammar for translating this following piece I originally wrote in Arabic (click to enlarge).

Saturday, July 22, 2006

I'm here and not here

This is a translation of one of my posts in Arabic, done by a dear friend of mine, Arch.memory, whose presence these days made this crisis a little more bearable. thx you Ash, thx you to all friends and strangers who have been sending to check on me as well.

I’m here now. From the other side of the sea, from the second face of the moon. Where everything is sweet, and calm, even if always cold.

I had to leave, you know.
Everyone was taking a bite off this land. And I… couldn’t stand it anymore.
The scene at the border was painful.
They all wanted to stay; they all had to leave.
I wanted to call out to them, I was about to hold their shoulders, shake them like this, and yell at them: “How could you? Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves?” I forgot that I, too, with the departing am departing.

The worst way for one to travel is by boat, you know? The plane, a few minutes and you’re flying. The car, a step on the fuel and you go. But on the boat, you stay standing, contemplating the marina, against your will… Looking at the land getting further away, at the people getting smaller, at a hand waving, and a hand, choked, that couldn’t wave. At a bag flying in the air, at a girl pinning laundry on a clothesline, at shuttered houses with no girl pinning laundry or clotheslines. Looking at your dream that they lost… At your dream that, maybe, you let get lost.

He didn’t understand me, my friend at the airport, when my head fell onto his shoulder, and I started to sob.

No, I’m not glad to be safe now. I am upset, I am crestfallen, I am choked from the inside…I am here in safety, and you are still over there. I am here a living illusion, no more, but you are at least alive. I am here but not worth more than five minutes of the news. I am a number. We are all numbers. Our identity is corpses and the stone that is shattering… Here were are barbarians, we don’t know how to live together, don’t know how to love. We don’t know that a homeland comes, always, before religion…

I’m here and not there
Here and not here
Here forgetting myself there
Never here
Always, with you, there

I’m starting to ramble. You take care of yourself. Do sing me that song from time to time… if you still sing.

Go to Hell, Lebanon will Stay

This is a translation of one of my posts in Arabic, done by a dear friend of mine, Arch.memory, whose presence these days made this crisis a little more bearable. thx you Ash, thx you to all friends and strangers who have been sending to check on me as well.

The raids yesterday exceeded thirty. I toss on my bed. The counting exhausts me. My tossing is almost in synch with the repetitive rhythm of explosions. For a while I imagine that I am no longer shaking with their roar. It’s been four nights now, four nights and I don’t want to sleep, and sleep in turn doesn’t want me. Four nights and the call to prayer at dawn finds me awake… When its sound mingles with the chatter of the nearby Dahyeh suburbs and the noise of my thoughts, sleep sits at the edge of my bed, and we go on chatting for what is left of the morning hours…

Ambulances, the panting of the TV, the voice of the newscaster sobbing at this very instance. It is all in the background. I look at them picking up the corpses. They say they burnt alive. Somehow, I smell burnt flesh.

I walk constantly. I can’t sit for long. I turn around myself. I look through the window. I look above. “God, love us a little. A little more!”

I want my silly life back. I want to get back to my desk that’s drowning under translation papers. I want to wake up in the morning and mull over what dress to wear. I want to match the color of my makeup and the color of my skirt. I want to go back to writing frivolous posts about love… To organizing the trip to Italy again… To tease the fans of Germany for the loss of their soccer team… To execute my postponed project with Maysoun… To go and take pictures of Beirut , Beirut smiling… To enjoy quarreling with my colleague at the office… To dance with Rima… To get angry at Wadih… To make you understand that I am not budging from here, whether we are at peace or at war, in festivities or in silence… And you’ll smile because you know that I won’t budge.

The world is silent. The losses, we have stopped counting them. Some are busy pointing the fingers of blame. And in the midst of all this? The lighthouse, the port, the bridge, the stone, the word, Fairouz, the airport, the child under the rubble, Beirut, Sidon, Tyre, el-Jiyyeh, Tripoli, Baalbeck, Chtura, el-Naqoura, and Lebanon! And Lebanon ! And Lebanon …

And the human being.

And the remaining human being whose voice rises, between one hit and another, whose voice rises, “Let Fairouz go back to Baalbeck!”

Lebanon, green beautiful Lebanon… What rape is this… What rape…

Thursday, July 20, 2006

United For Peace and Justice

Please Forward Widely

Emergency Action to End the War on Lebanon Deliver a Letter to the US Mission of the United Nations Join UFPJ and peace and justice activists: Friday, July 21, 4 -5:30 PM140 East 45th Street (between Third and Lexington Avenues)

We call for the Bush administration to:
* Support a Security Council resolution calling for an immediate andunconditional cease-fire;
* Urge negotiations now to resolve all disputes including the release ofprisoners on all sides;
* Put an end to US blocking of UN action.We will stage a picket outside the mission and deliver a letter signed by UFPJ andother peace and justice organizations.
(See text of letter below.)

While the world is crying out for global intervention to stop the bloodshed, we have been tremendously disappointed by the response from the Bush administration. And instead of rallying the international community to call for an immediate cease-fire to stop further bloodshed, it has blocked the UN efforts to do just that. We condemn all attacks on civilians, and call for the release of prisoners held onall sides in this conflict, including the Israeli soldiers captured by Hezbollah. But while Hezbollah violated international law by attacking Israel and then firingmissiles at Israeli cities, Israel's clearly disproportionate response is an act ofcollective punishment against the Lebanese population -- a serious violation ofinternational law.On Friday, we will go to the US mission to hold our government accountable for their negligent response to this conflict. Please join us.

Dear Ambassador Bolton,
On behalf of United for Peace and Justice (UFPJ), the largest antiwar coalition in the United States, we want to express our concern over the escalating crisis between Israel and Lebanon and urge you to support a Security Council resolution calling for an immediate and unconditional cease-fire.We are gravely concerned about the loss of lives on both sides. We condemn allattacks on civilians, and call for the release of prisoners held on all sides inthis conflict, including the Israeli soldiers captured by Hezbollah. But whileHezbollah violated international law by attacking Israel and then firing missiles at Israeli cities, Israel's clearly disproportionate response is an act of collectivepunishment against the Lebanese population -- a serious violation of internationallaw.While the world is crying out for global intervention to stop the bloodshed, we havebeen tremendously disappointed by the response from the Bush administration. Insteadof using its influence on Israel to stop the devastating attacks on the Lebanesepopulation, it has supported such attacks. And instead of rallying the internationalcommunity to call for an immediate cease-fire to stop further bloodshed, it hasblocked UN efforts to call for an immediate cease-fire.We urgently call on the Bush administration to work with international partners to broker an immediate and unconditional cease-fire and commence negotiations topeacefully resolve the crisis.We look forward to hearing your response.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Post This on Your Blogs!

by Maya

Dear World Leaders,

This letter is a plea from the Lebanese people, and friends of Lebanon . We urge you to exercise any political influence you may have to guide a cease fire between Israel and Hezbollah. Negotiations must take place. The violence that has escalated in Lebanon has gotten out of control, it is insanity! The people of Lebanon are suffering; the Lebanese economy will suffer deeply for years to come. As I am sure you know anger, resentment, and poverty can only lead to further extremism. For the welfare of Lebanese citizens, Israeli citizens, the stability of the Middle East , and indeed the world, we implore you to take action as soon as possible to prevent further violence, destruction, and casualties.


Friends and Citizens of Lebanon

Its your choice, you can send this email to the one, more than one, or all of the following below. Also, please feel free to send this to anyone you deem appropriate and to add your personal touch to the letter. But always try to keep it polite and civilized. Thank you.

The White House:
U.S. VP:
Israeli minister of defense:
Israeli Minister of foreign affairs:
The French President:Go to this site
click on Ecrire au President and copy paste this text in the box provided.

The British government:
The British Prime Minister:

You know that feeling by which you discover inno you've been stressing? this horrible pain in the legs, moments after things have cooled down? Well, can I just say inno: my legs are KILLING me right now!!

Let's hope tomorrow's wake-up news are less nauseating.

Sunday, July 09, 2006


It was an emotional wreck but, apparently, a success!

Oh, it' s you! ya ahla w sahla!

Warming-up. How on earth do they do that??

Wear Me!

It's Make-up Day

Let's not panic :S

Help is always desperately needed!

Hmmm... whom do we have here?

Ya3teekon l 3afyeh!

Friday, July 07, 2006


Lately, the main conversation between me and Rima, who also happens to be performing in the show, is focusing on the following:


ok, I needed that!
(said only a few hours before the show)

P.S. I think I even scared a poor lady in the street, yesterday.

*2a3sabek ya benet, 2a3sabek*... oh man, I can't eat! that never happened to me before :p